Health: Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I...

By John - 24/06/2011 07:17 - United States

Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 125

You deserved it 3 430

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Same thing different taste

By welp24 - 28/10/2018 03:00

Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 199

You deserved it 369

Bunged up

By P DarklyKira - 18/05/2020 23:00

Today, after weeks of quarantine, I can finally go to the hospital to get my haemorrhoid surgery, which was confirmed. I have a big internal one. I didn't not consult with the same doctor as before, but he didn't even do a check up inside and told me, "You have nothing, go home." I can't shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 696

You deserved it 185

Nice.

By poururheartout - 27/07/2018 20:30

Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 398

What a way to spend the day

By theark - 22/08/2022 10:00

Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 86

Bad sandwich, bad week

By Anonymous - 07/09/2019 12:02 - Korea Republic of

Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 112

Downhill

By loveinanelevator - 13/02/2012 12:03

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 694

You deserved it 2 694

Full of it

By romoangel - 21/04/2020 05:00

Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 563

Take deep breath…

By paininthe*ss - 13/02/2023 00:00

Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 127

By Terri-Lynn - 30/05/2012 20:25 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 776

You deserved it 4 421

By billiams15 - 06/05/2012 21:57 - United States - Katy

Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 4 331

DocBastard 38

Friday 24 June 2011 16:16

I see people in their 20's with hemorrhoids regularly. It isn't as uncommon as you think. When the colonoscopy gets done, make sure you bring the wine and candles. It's a very romantic occasion.

marinus_fml 19

Friday 24 June 2011 16:10

Too bad the doctor didn't also rub the prostate. I hear it's equivalent to the females G-Spot ;)

Comments

kps18x 1

Saturday 25 June 2011 2:12

I hate colonoscopies. I'm 15 and I've had two, fml.

Someofthisisfunn 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 3:00

That's why I hate going to the dentist.

ImmaCIAhole 2

Saturday 25 June 2011 4:17

uhhhhh have you ever heard of bran dude? perhaps a prune or two???

marcyfrances 4

Saturday 25 June 2011 4:21

wow! your mean!!!

stiletto_fml 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:00

there's also a second opinion. )0(

sabrinaAnn 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:20

last year when i was 16 years old i had to get a colonoscopy for the same reasons. get ready for a lifetime of shitty problems.. literally

night_saint 5

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:48

fart!

alissa412 33

Saturday 25 June 2011 6:06

it's okay, I'm eighteen and have had three rounds of colonoscopies and endoscopies. I'm really sorry, it sucks to drink that nasty stuff :-/

livk_23 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 6:08

time to nut up or shut up. I'm fifteen and have had crohn's disease since seventh grade, I wasn't officially diagnosed until ninth grade though after three days in the hospital. The colonoscopy itself wasn't that bad because they drugged me. I actually didn't mind it because I finally got to sleep awhile instead of constantly being on the toilet. Thats the worst part. Cleaning yourself out. It's not the worse thing that can happen to you though. Be thankful you don't have colon cancer! Just think It's over before you know it! Good luck.