Health: Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I...

By John - 24/06/2011 07:17 - United States

Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 124

You deserved it 3 430

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Same thing different taste

By welp24 - 28/10/2018 03:00

Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 196

You deserved it 367

Bunged up

By P DarklyKira - 18/05/2020 23:00

Today, after weeks of quarantine, I can finally go to the hospital to get my haemorrhoid surgery, which was confirmed. I have a big internal one. I didn't not consult with the same doctor as before, but he didn't even do a check up inside and told me, "You have nothing, go home." I can't shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 692

You deserved it 185

Nice.

By poururheartout - 27/07/2018 20:30

Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 275

You deserved it 397

What a way to spend the day

By theark - 22/08/2022 10:00

Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 85

Bad sandwich, bad week

By Anonymous - 07/09/2019 12:02 - Korea Republic of

Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 112

Downhill

By loveinanelevator - 13/02/2012 12:03

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 692

You deserved it 2 693

Full of it

By romoangel - 21/04/2020 05:00

Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 540

Take deep breath…

By paininthe*ss - 13/02/2023 00:00

Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 126

By Terri-Lynn - 30/05/2012 20:25 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 775

You deserved it 4 421

By billiams15 - 06/05/2012 21:57 - United States - Katy

Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 424

You deserved it 4 330

DocBastard 38

Friday 24 June 2011 16:16

I see people in their 20's with hemorrhoids regularly. It isn't as uncommon as you think. When the colonoscopy gets done, make sure you bring the wine and candles. It's a very romantic occasion.

marinus_fml 19

Friday 24 June 2011 16:10

Too bad the doctor didn't also rub the prostate. I hear it's equivalent to the females G-Spot ;)

Comments

Crystallion 0

Friday 24 June 2011 20:24

So what. This just happened to my boyfriend two weeks ago. He's 18.

KKMH 3

Friday 24 June 2011 20:26

dude I got one when i was 14 and the doctor went to far with the laser and put a hole in my intestine i spent the whole year recovering from surgery

mel1776 0

Friday 24 June 2011 20:31

i had my first colonoscopy when i was 9. its not that bad.

vegan_muffin 5

Friday 24 June 2011 20:31

If you can avoid surgery, do it. I had that surgery and it was the worst thing I ever went through. Best advice: DRINK SO MUCH WATER!

aerogxt 7

Friday 24 June 2011 20:41

I feel you, literally. Same thing happened with me. Look at it this way, it could be worse. You could be like my gay friend who complains JUST to get his ass probed. he loves it.

JPEG7 12

Friday 24 June 2011 20:50

i dont see why you are complaining so much. i've had two colonoscopy's and im not even 19 yet...

tarmslol 1

Friday 24 June 2011 20:59

I'm a 16 year old male and I've had three colonoscopies and have been diagnosed with lymphoid hyperplasia and have had two polyps stop whining

LALALALagirrl 1

Friday 24 June 2011 23:17

Haha beat you! 16, with 4! oh wait.. not something I want to win at..

Mach10 0

Friday 24 June 2011 21:00

Solution: grow up or man up. I'd rather a bit of discomfort than dying of colorectal cancer. it's slow, an by the end, even morphine won't stop the pain