Miscellaneous: Today, I had my first date with this guy I really like, who came...

By Prego my ego - 23/07/2009 17:39 - France

Today, I had my first date with this guy I really like, who came to pick me up. Once I got into his car, my uncle comes out of the house and yells "Remember, pregnant girls aren't allowed to drink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 074

You deserved it 7 870

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 05:32 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 377

You deserved it 2 628

Crafty

By Anonymous - 07/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 510

You deserved it 3 213

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 856

You deserved it 6 399

It's a match!

By Noname - 30/01/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle said, "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my matchmaker is my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 729

You deserved it 3 349

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 564

You deserved it 2 267

By cdestarac - 10/01/2012 06:07 - United States

Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 160

You deserved it 37 775

By lonerboner - 03/10/2012 13:47 - United States

Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 061

You deserved it 37 249

By fridgemylifee - 13/08/2015 17:39 - United States

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 486

You deserved it 2 985

By firstdategoals - 08/06/2015 03:35 - United States

Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 177

You deserved it 3 883

By Anon - 04/08/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 050

You deserved it 4 128

anarkistsdream 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 23:08

If you really ARE pregnant, the guy you are dating should know...

SnifflyMiscreant 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 23:24

Maybe the uncle was just trying to scare the guy she was going on the date with. That's actually something that my dad would do...... haha

Comments

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Friday 24 July 2009 11:38

Your uncle is A GENIUS! 8D

Julzie 0

Friday 24 July 2009 12:29

That was GENIUS xD

Lissa_fml 0

Friday 24 July 2009 14:18

if you ARE pregnant then your uncle's a legend... if you're NOT pregnent, then he's even more of a legend...

bob1124 0

Friday 24 July 2009 16:38

Your uncle is awesome. Sorry, but that was a genius move.

marcadores_x 1

Tuesday 4 August 2009 19:36

it would have been funnier if you stated that you were going on a date with a fat chick

marcadores_x 1

Tuesday 4 August 2009 19:38

oops i think i read this wrong

marcadores_x 1

Tuesday 4 August 2009 19:47

oops i think i read it wrong

iAndrea 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 17:13

You guys are dumb. Obviously she's not prego and her uncle wanted to scare the guy off because he loved his niece...........

XBCX96 4

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:29

ROFL your uncle is fuckinh hilarious :D

Narwhal234 6

Saturday 8 October 2011 15:33

"Yeah well, stupid uncles aren't allowed to drink."

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Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 365

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 1 085

The Top

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 228

You deserved it 3 875

Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 036

You deserved it 26 765

Today, at a family dinner, my mom announced that my newborn brother was named after his father. His name is Kevin. My dad's name is Michael. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 630

You deserved it 1 722

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 965

You deserved it 2 579

Today, while cat-sitting at a very nice house, I noticed an outlet had started smoking. I called 911 and got it taken care of, but the homeowners want me to pay for the electrician, since it happened while I was there. They only paid me $40 for the weekend and the electrician wants $350. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 859

You deserved it 108

Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 39

Same thing different taste

Crafty

It's a match!

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