Work: Today, I had my first meeting with business partners as I am...

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, I had my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 350

You deserved it 21 996

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By taperjeangirl - 21/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 765

You deserved it 10 556

By Unnoticed - 27/07/2017 06:30 - Australia - Thornlie

Today, my colleague introduced herself and said, "I know how nerve-racking first days are!" Which is nice of her, except I've been at this company longer than she has. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 147

You deserved it 324

By kitkat3308 - 30/03/2015 05:06 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 122

You deserved it 2 209

By Username - 19/05/2011 15:13

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 980

You deserved it 80 655

By Partners - 22/06/2015 19:55 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 820

You deserved it 3 403

By Mito - 10/09/2017 23:15

Today, we had an impromptu meeting to get to know the new additions to the team. They asked me to introduce myself. I started a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 615

You deserved it 319

Confuddled

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I met my boyfriend’s parents for the first time. I got nervous and tried to say, "Nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you!" when I should’ve just said, "It’s nice to meet you." To make things worse, it came out as, "Nice to hear you, I’ve met a lot about you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 147

By CurtisWogan - 12/03/2014 22:23 - United States - Albany

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter." I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 934

You deserved it 13 475

Bored senseless

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 16:55 - United States

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 313

You deserved it 2 988

By Anonymous - 18/06/2016 03:22 - United States - Detroit

Today, I finally started my first job. I also lost it, for being too "enthusiastic" and making my fellow employees look lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 111

You deserved it 969

Blanadestroyer 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:19

The word of the day is "legs". Let's go spread it!

effyourlizzife 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:07

HAHAHAHA that's beautiful

Comments

hk_fml 9

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:31

LOL that is HILARIOUS. I hope they laughed and didnt make things even more awkward xD

XantesFire 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:32

And then?

24788 6

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:41

lol, they had dirty thoughts the rest of the day.

rawrsaysdino 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:45

lol exactly why you wanna watch what you say!

rapperhermit 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:53

What the hell is stretching your legs anyway, and why would you want to say it?

adavis24 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 23:34

breaking the boundaries, exceeding greatly

team49 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:54

hahah that wouldve been a good ice breaker though... if they laughed that is

addy918 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:55

i would have just said Freudian slip and played it off

Dr_Pepper_fml 3

Wednesday 6 May 2009 13:38

Haha, nice. And #16, you don't know what stretching is? wtf?

doll_face 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 13:47

freudian slip! aaaand #16, i completely agree. it seems strange that you would want to tell colleagues that you want to "stretch your legs" and "spread your wings". the first just sounds like a somatic nerve brain response, and the second sounds like the BS that you'd hear at a high school graduation.

ammali 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 13:55

16 and 20, have you never heard of a metaphorical phrase before? Honestly. I hate when you're nervous or not paying attention and two phrases get mixed up like that. They always seem to produce something embarrassing!