Work: Today, I had my first meeting with business partners as I am...

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, I had my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 350

You deserved it 21 995

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Same thing different taste

By taperjeangirl - 21/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 765

You deserved it 10 555

By Unnoticed - 27/07/2017 06:30 - Australia - Thornlie

Today, my colleague introduced herself and said, "I know how nerve-racking first days are!" Which is nice of her, except I've been at this company longer than she has. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 145

You deserved it 324

By kitkat3308 - 30/03/2015 05:06 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 122

You deserved it 2 209

By Username - 19/05/2011 15:13

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 980

You deserved it 80 651

By Partners - 22/06/2015 19:55 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 817

You deserved it 3 403

By Mito - 10/09/2017 23:15

Today, we had an impromptu meeting to get to know the new additions to the team. They asked me to introduce myself. I started a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 614

You deserved it 319

Confuddled

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I met my boyfriend’s parents for the first time. I got nervous and tried to say, "Nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you!" when I should’ve just said, "It’s nice to meet you." To make things worse, it came out as, "Nice to hear you, I’ve met a lot about you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 145

By CurtisWogan - 12/03/2014 22:23 - United States - Albany

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter." I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 934

You deserved it 13 475

Bored senseless

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 16:55 - United States

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 312

You deserved it 2 988

By Anonymous - 18/06/2016 03:22 - United States - Detroit

Today, I finally started my first job. I also lost it, for being too "enthusiastic" and making my fellow employees look lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 111

You deserved it 969

Blanadestroyer 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:19

The word of the day is "legs". Let's go spread it!

effyourlizzife 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:07

HAHAHAHA that's beautiful

Comments

hk_fml 9

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:31

LOL that is HILARIOUS. I hope they laughed and didnt make things even more awkward xD

XantesFire 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:32

And then?

24788 6

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:41

lol, they had dirty thoughts the rest of the day.

rawrsaysdino 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:45

lol exactly why you wanna watch what you say!

rapperhermit 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:53

What the hell is stretching your legs anyway, and why would you want to say it?

adavis24 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 23:34

breaking the boundaries, exceeding greatly

team49 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:54

hahah that wouldve been a good ice breaker though... if they laughed that is

addy918 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:55

i would have just said Freudian slip and played it off

Dr_Pepper_fml 3

Wednesday 6 May 2009 13:38

Haha, nice. And #16, you don't know what stretching is? wtf?

doll_face 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 13:47

freudian slip! aaaand #16, i completely agree. it seems strange that you would want to tell colleagues that you want to "stretch your legs" and "spread your wings". the first just sounds like a somatic nerve brain response, and the second sounds like the BS that you'd hear at a high school graduation.

ammali 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 13:55

16 and 20, have you never heard of a metaphorical phrase before? Honestly. I hate when you're nervous or not paying attention and two phrases get mixed up like that. They always seem to produce something embarrassing!