Health: Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street,...

By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 22:50 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 044

You deserved it 1 962

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Same thing different taste

By bad_day_in_hell - 17/11/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 143

You deserved it 2 174

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 21:50 - Saudi Arabia - Dammam

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 709

You deserved it 2 513

It wasn't me!

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 18:40 - United States - Charleston

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 870

You deserved it 2 727

By shenmas - 08/07/2018 19:00

Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 355

You deserved it 264

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 971

You deserved it 12 163

Freakout

By Anonymous - 04/01/2012 17:00 - United States

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 227

You deserved it 2 839

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 18:11 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 405

You deserved it 5 960

By Lisa - 23/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Tupelo

Today, a woman came knocking on my door. Not to sell something or to chat, no. To punch me in the mouth. Apparently, I stole her husband and I'm a homewrecker. We don't have a clue who she is. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and were high school sweethearts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 108

You deserved it 235

A real mess

By huh? - 09/05/2022 00:01

Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 285

You deserved it 272

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 068

You deserved it 5 414

toowie_fml 20

Saturday 4 August 2012 5:59

Bitches be crazy..

kidepicfest 0

Saturday 4 August 2012 6:05

Well since you've already been beat up, might as well find the husband and sleep with him.

Comments

AzWolf 5

Saturday 4 August 2012 21:55

Take some self-defense classes!

gman90210 18

Tuesday 4 December 2012 11:20

I'd be glad to give you some self defense classes

skyeyez9 24

Saturday 4 August 2012 22:37

Perhaps she made up that reason as an excuse to beat on a random stranger.

aron666 25

Sunday 5 August 2012 0:25

where my bitches at?

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 5 August 2012 3:37

it looks like you have a fimilar face...or she just was a bit out if it...

dolceandkabana 1

Monday 6 August 2012 14:57

The first time will feel almost the same OP

Sandnblood 4

Tuesday 7 August 2012 1:58

So...you called the cops right? I mean, that is assault by the way it sounds.

lowercaseG 13

Saturday 18 August 2012 7:48

Why didn't you fight back

shujaswati 20

Tuesday 29 April 2014 17:18

Well that's bad and embarrassing.

jflyer76 17

Friday 1 January 2016 14:02

I smell a lawsuit

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Work Accident Embarrassing Health Relatable Annoying LGBTQIA+ Love AITA Inappropriate My ex Relationship advice Cute Animals Cats Transportation Awkward Cars Friends Dogs Scams Money Kids Miscellaneous Family Drugs Public freakouts Sex Intimacy Cheating

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Today, in France, a "Vaccine Pass" is needed to do most things. Some family members came to visit, but as they aren't vaccinated they usually just stay home. They told us that we're dangerous, because we carry "millions of viruses" from the vaccine, and it will be our fault if they get Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 215

Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 776

You deserved it 995

Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 979

You deserved it 3 239

Today, after three years of relationship, my ex broke with me because if we continued dating, she wouldn't have any free time to play Clash Royale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 128

Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 548

You deserved it 3 012

Today, Facebook showed me pictures from five years of a happy time I had traveling with a boyfriend, who later ended our 8-year relationship by telling me he had gotten an apartment and furniture in secret, and was moving out. No warning, no reason, no explanation. He never spoke to me again. I loved him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 224

Same thing different taste

It wasn't me!

Freakout

A real mess

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