Health: Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last... - FML

By ash - 25/08/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 105

You deserved it 41 834

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Cpt_Concerned - 22/09/2009 04:37 - Canada

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 429

You deserved it 52 600

Drunken antics

By qx5 - 08/01/2011 22:05 - Canada

Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 524

You deserved it 58 097

By geeb - 23/02/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 593

You deserved it 36 513

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 293

You deserved it 12 381

By foxfur - 14/07/2016 12:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 718

You deserved it 3 951

By choup - 07/11/2008 21:02 - Australia

Today, I went to have a drink with my friend. On the way I withdrew 20 bucks and when I arrived at the bar I realised I had taken my credit card but not the banknote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 198

You deserved it 27 584

By Watchingmyfigure - 06/12/2016 17:55 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 983

You deserved it 1 243

Winner winner chicken dinner

By Anonymous - 26/02/2021 14:02

Today, I realized I have finally turned into my mother when I got excited about using so many coupons that I only paid 70 cents for $14 worth of groceries. I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 249

By jannister - 13/08/2012 19:25 - Germany - Bad Blankenburg

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 915

You deserved it 2 151

Dad priorities

By hellishome - 29/09/2019 00:01

Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 337

You deserved it 204

Next

Top comments

kickblocker 18

Friday 26 August 2011 8:40

Who needs tampons? Just go with the flow

j4gerb0mblitz 6

Friday 26 August 2011 8:39

Who needs tampons, bottles work fine too. Well I hope they do...

Comments

immortal628 20

Friday 26 August 2011 9:13

Southern Comfort is amazing though! I'm sure someone else will loan you a tampon if you pour them a shot.

steelrain0811 0

Friday 26 August 2011 9:16

I think I'm in love...lol

PoisonPixieDust 5

Saturday 27 August 2011 4:10

Lol trust me, u don't want this alcoholic :p

hiLife808 0

Friday 26 August 2011 9:18

I hope that Southern Comfort is worth it when you start bleeding through your clothes...

Ray_of_midnight 22

Friday 26 August 2011 9:23

The first step is admitting you have a problem. I hope you find help, and good luck in your recovery, OP.

Harpy20 24

Friday 26 August 2011 9:26

you know alcohol thins the blood right? have fun getting drunk and bleeding a ******* river. gross.

hotdogcore 9

Friday 26 August 2011 10:39

@ 34 You know that period blood is stored in the uterus and creates a lining which is released every month and is in no way effected by alcohol because it's no longer in your blood stream, right?

icefshng8 9

Friday 26 August 2011 17:07

Win

mariet_fml 23

Monday 27 August 2012 23:44

I love stupid people. edit: That comment was made funnier because you're a woman. For goodness' sake, learn more about your body.

Uncle_Ben96 5

Friday 26 August 2011 9:27

Periods suck, commas rule

n_epic_fail 14

Friday 26 August 2011 9:55

lmao :)

ragzy 7

Friday 26 August 2011 10:07

Luv I feel sorry for you my brother is a booze hag and spends money on beer rather than food, it is a horrible disease that starts out so fun. Before any of you read my profile about drinking, I enjoy it but always keep it under control. FYL get help

fuckmylife2323 0

Friday 26 August 2011 11:07

Hey at least you admit you have A problem that's the first step to fixing it

atlanta_lex 0

Friday 26 August 2011 11:19

Haha it's all good, girl!

funkyspacemonkey 0

Friday 26 August 2011 13:12

That's all gross!!

tona01 16

Friday 26 August 2011 13:16

No it isn't

atlanta_lex 0

Friday 26 August 2011 19:13

Uh I meant it's all good that she's an alcoholic. Chill out ...I'm aware that being on your period with no tampons or pads is ******* gross as ****

PoisonPixieDust 5

Saturday 27 August 2011 22:32

Well everybody can breath. My friend gave me a box and took shots with me. Win win situation

catnip1997 0

Friday 26 August 2011 11:32

tampons aren't even important

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Sex Intimacy Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 075

You deserved it 13 427

Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 79

The Top

Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 817

You deserved it 255

Today, my boyfriend told me that his daughter only liked me because she thought that we look like siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 93

Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I'd only shaved one armpit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 306

You deserved it 11 035

Today, my longtime crush, who lives in Texas, got into a relationship. He turned me down when I'd confessed my feelings for him because he “doesn’t do long distance.” The girl he’s with lives in the same city as me. We both live in Florida. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 136

Today, my boyfriend once again asked me if I could “not get so wet down there” when we have sex, because it “feels funny”. Ummm, even if I could control it, I never knew it was a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 429

You deserved it 170

Today, my boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere, supposedly because I act like he's nothing but a sex doll. We've been dating 6 weeks and have had sex twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 765

You deserved it 197