Miscellaneous: Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started...

By are you kidding me? - 10/03/2014 08:22 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 534

You deserved it 4 481

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 18:23

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 135

You deserved it 3 563

By an idiot - 16/02/2013 18:03 - Australia

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 018

You deserved it 7 833

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 348

You deserved it 14 502

Diversion tactics

By Anonymous - 19/10/2021 08:00

Today, upon getting the paperwork for my Court Diversion, I found out I had to write an apology letter to my brother. The brother who sent me to jail for trying to get him to stop abusing his girlfriend, and holding him instead of fighting when he charged at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 73

By bellaskyeb - 08/01/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 277

You deserved it 4 253

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 463

It wasn't me!

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 18:40 - United States - Charleston

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 875

You deserved it 2 728

Well done

By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 11:41 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 320

You deserved it 4 296

By Already Broke Asf - 18/11/2015 01:51 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, my 19-year-old brother broke into my dorm and robbed me. When I tried to file a report, my brother went to my parents and told them that he took it because I owed him money on a bet. Guess who lost $92.50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 034

You deserved it 2 339

By hot_mess88 - 04/07/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 125

You deserved it 2 592

capslockisgood 19

Monday 10 March 2014 15:05

Owl bet he feels pretty dumb now!

That_Ginger 18

Monday 10 March 2014 15:05

Your location verifies my suspicion that your brother fought Ron Weasely. What a lucky guy.

Comments

pompomkiwi 14

Monday 10 March 2014 15:15

Owlch

blackonblight 32

Monday 10 March 2014 15:16

Orly?

blackonblight 32

Tuesday 11 March 2014 21:26

Yeah, ok, I'm going to hell for that one. Thumbs down entirely deserved.

EphMi 5

Monday 10 March 2014 15:17

If i were you, i wouldn't give a flying hoot about him!

cleary30 13

Monday 10 March 2014 15:17

Hmm, I guess that was a Hoot!

Alhamdulilah 15

Monday 10 March 2014 15:18

Does he like Owl City though?

Nilorak 24

Monday 10 March 2014 15:21

Owl my god

IllestRated 17

Monday 10 March 2014 15:22

....Who?

Nilorak 24

Monday 10 March 2014 15:24

Me!

lilacstime 4

Monday 10 March 2014 15:26

Well aint that a hoot!

JMichael 25

Monday 10 March 2014 15:29

Guess you can say he doesn't give a...hoot! Boom!

Godsofdracos 15

Tuesday 11 March 2014 2:44

The boom ruined it, that and it already being said. But the boom always kills it.

1tsmenoah 20

Monday 10 March 2014 15:37

Owl wonder why he did that

Keywords

Miscellaneous Clothes Relatable Shoes Cars Transportation Insurance Health Work Love Cheating Embarrassing Awkward Food Clumsy Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Ironic Pranks Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, my Facebook was hacked. The hacker messaged all my online friends, explaining that "I" was overseas, had run out of money and needed help. Not one person cared enough to respond. I guess the hacker picked the wrong target. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 397

You deserved it 5 121

Today, I'm in the same city as my boyfriend for the first time in two months. My body apparently did not like the idea of me having sex again, as I promptly got a UTI and then the week-long breakthrough bleeding that antibiotics often cause me. The same thing happened the week before he had to move, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 184

The Top

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 4 718

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 022

You deserved it 2 960

Today, while at work, I had to explain over the phone to my 33-year-old boyfriend how to use Preparation H. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 116

Today, I was trying to flirt with someone in a small bar. I thought they'd smiled at me, so I smiled back. Turns out, they were smiling at their phone screen. I just awkwardly sat there, smiling into the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 264

Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 639

You deserved it 2 728

Today, working from home and to escape my own toddler, I moved my work area into the bedroom. Perfect timing for the neighbor's toddler to scream at the top of his lungs. All day long, underneath my bedroom. I just wanted some peace and quiet to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 130