Miscellaneous: Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and... - FML

By bellaskyeb - 08/01/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 274

You deserved it 4 252

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 21:14 - United States

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 497

You deserved it 3 387

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 347

You deserved it 14 501

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 578

You deserved it 3 711

**** fox hunts

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 17:01

Today, my husband was arrested because a fox, fleeing from about a billion dogs and rich twats on horses, jumped through our car window, and cowered between my legs. He got out of the car, waded through the dogs, and pulled one of the twats off his horse into a puddle, ruining his red coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 258

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 462

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 141

You deserved it 4 663

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 18:00

Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 227

By mackenzie_cain - 14/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 438

You deserved it 65 649

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 168

Walk on the wild side

By Anonymous - 11/11/2020 07:01 - United States - Tyler

Today, I had to go get my fiancé's car so it wouldn't get impounded after he was arrested at 12 a.m. and charged with a felony. I just got out of prison in March, and we get married next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 3 280

Next

Top comments

IntoTheClouds 42

Monday 9 January 2012 2:19

That's a funny story, actually.

MrHankie1999 0

Monday 9 January 2012 2:19

They are confused because it didn't have a siren.

Comments

macdaddymady 8

Monday 9 January 2012 2:40

Does he have a friend name Alan who carries a purse by any chance?

brianfantana32 10

Monday 9 January 2012 7:26

Its a satchel!!!

Mkbitch 2

Monday 9 January 2012 2:41

YDI for marrying a child. Discipline him!

Savra_fml 17

Monday 9 January 2012 2:43

They were just horsing around OP. How does the old saying go? "You can lead a drunk to a horse, but..." No, that's not it. Something like "I get 1 phone call, right?" FYL.

Liliajeanne4 0

Monday 9 January 2012 2:45

That's awesome! It's just too bad you weren't included in the fun!

Dan1015 5

Monday 9 January 2012 2:46

Lol hahah that is hilarious. They had a college moment again hahah

heyred 11

Monday 9 January 2012 2:49

My grandfather stole a fire engine while on liberty in WW II. It is a funny story if you pull your head out of you arse.

littlecityof 3

Monday 9 January 2012 2:50

That's certainly and FYL, mostly for marrying the idiot

sceptic 1

Monday 9 January 2012 2:56

I would leave mine there for being THAT stupid!

spongebob1990 3

Monday 9 January 2012 3:06

Wow your gona tell me youve never done nothing stupid while drunk

CryMoreFMLs 14

Monday 9 January 2012 4:12

I haven't. I just went to bed. Never drinking that much champange on New Years ever again.

littlecityof 3

Monday 9 January 2012 19:11

We all do stupid things once in a while, but stealing a horse, no matter who it belongs to, is just another level of stupid

spongebob1990 3

Tuesday 10 January 2012 3:16

Boooo ur lame

iceymouse17 4

Monday 9 January 2012 2:58

Hes a keeper!

Roehl2011 4

Monday 9 January 2012 3:00

someone knows how to party!

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Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 1 326

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The Top

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You deserved it 118

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I agree, your life sucks 28 731

You deserved it 8 664

Today, my boyfriend asked me to go to his parents' house for the weekend. He didn’t tell me until after we’d arrived that all his siblings and their SO's would also be coming. His parents live in a 2 bedroom, one bath house. So far there are 16 people here and he’s refusing to drive me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 165

You deserved it 336

Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 719

You deserved it 2 532

Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 314

You deserved it 8 038

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 564

You deserved it 6 603