Miscellaneous: Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and... - FML

By bellaskyeb - 08/01/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 274

You deserved it 4 252

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 21:14 - United States

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 497

You deserved it 3 387

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 347

You deserved it 14 501

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 578

You deserved it 3 711

**** fox hunts

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 17:01

Today, my husband was arrested because a fox, fleeing from about a billion dogs and rich twats on horses, jumped through our car window, and cowered between my legs. He got out of the car, waded through the dogs, and pulled one of the twats off his horse into a puddle, ruining his red coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 258

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 462

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 141

You deserved it 4 663

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 18:00

Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 227

By mackenzie_cain - 14/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 438

You deserved it 65 649

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 168

Walk on the wild side

By Anonymous - 11/11/2020 07:01 - United States - Tyler

Today, I had to go get my fiancé's car so it wouldn't get impounded after he was arrested at 12 a.m. and charged with a felony. I just got out of prison in March, and we get married next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 3 280

Next

Top comments

IntoTheClouds 42

Monday 9 January 2012 2:19

That's a funny story, actually.

MrHankie1999 0

Monday 9 January 2012 2:19

They are confused because it didn't have a siren.

Comments

takeitandrun 13

Monday 9 January 2012 3:45

I'd just appreciate that you got called to bail him out with a funny story that you can share instead of something stupid or completely embarassing. Think on the bright side!

ms92497 4

Monday 9 January 2012 3:53

Well, he sounds interesting

ScarletBloom 14

Monday 9 January 2012 3:57

That scenario must be very horrendous and hilarious.

Guy247bp2 1

Monday 9 January 2012 4:07

For some reason as I read this i thought of the family guy episode where peter buys a retarded horse on impulse... funny, really....

dorky_lette 5

Monday 9 January 2012 4:13

well i now i know what im doing next weekend

himynamesholly 0

Monday 9 January 2012 4:15

I hope I have a husband like that someday.

dashofspice 0

Monday 9 January 2012 4:27

They were just horsing around ;)

UnknownyMous 5

Monday 9 January 2012 4:34

He was having grown-up man time with his best bud! You can't really blame him especially because he was drunk. Which comes to another good reason why people shouldn't drink.

maddienoelle 13

Monday 9 January 2012 4:40

Those darn drunks.

brick_man33 14

Monday 9 January 2012 4:42

it would of been epic, if he actually stole the horse and road it down the street yelling "the British are coming, the British are coming" like a drunken Paul Revere.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 895

You deserved it 2 259

Today, my wife and I can’t decide if we should force my stepson to wait when he rudely demands something, in the hope he’ll learn patience and some manners, or just give him what he wants so he’ll go away and stop making us miserable. He’s 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 1 293

The Top

Today, after 14 years of relationship, him forgetting every anniversary and birthday, and being disloyal several times, my boyfriend offered to buy us friendship rings. Because I according to him, I seem to care for such gestures, and it would fix our problems. 14 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 2 905

Today, we were supposed to go to Disneyland but we got in a blazing argument. Then this morning I woke up to my alarm clock disabled, he was gone, my ticket was in the kitchen shredded, and when I rang him the bastard was in the first class lounge, waiting to get on the plane without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 261

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 826

You deserved it 4 771

Today, I thought I had two cats, an albino and a tuxedo, but apparently I have four. I just discovered that an orange cat and a black cat have somehow gotten into my basement and made themselves at home. There's no way in hell I can afford four cats. Oh, and the cats I actually own hate them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 183

Today, I had to get a pre-exposure rabies vaccine for school. My boyfriend thinks I'll give him rabies and refuses to let me sleep in the same bed with him or initiate sex. I need two more shots over the next 3 weeks, which means sleeping on the couch for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 764

You deserved it 365

Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 366

You deserved it 2 771