Intimacy and Health: Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my... - FML

By Whoopsie - 25/07/2018 05:00

Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my girlfriend orgasmed so hard she had a seizure and passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 355

You deserved it 582

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 01:23 - United States - South Salem

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 286

You deserved it 4 145

Toxic workplace

By Anonymous - 05/12/2021 08:01

Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 338

You deserved it 81

Understanding

By Chia - 10/05/2013 22:58 - Australia - Mona Vale

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 023

You deserved it 3 670

By mrWrong - 25/03/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 966

You deserved it 12 116

By EpicFailAtItsFinest - 13/04/2009 02:49 - United States

Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 510

You deserved it 19 525

By Poopsie - 13/08/2018 06:00

Today, I went to the ER due to intense headaches. My partner was unable to go with me so he called his father to drive me. My father-in-law now knows that every time I orgasm my head feels like it will explode. He also knows that it happened 4 times last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 082

You deserved it 415

By EMT_Koulianos - 25/05/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 129

You deserved it 4 091

By Anonymous - 16/01/2012 14:15 - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend passed out on the floor. Then I passed out, due to anxiety of seeing him passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 250

You deserved it 6 177

Timewaster

By HMM - 28/07/2010 11:42 - United States

Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 020

You deserved it 3 004

By xxccruzxx - 29/06/2012 13:30 - United States

Today, at work, my phone kept crashing. Without thinking, I announced that it was having a seizure. Who did I announce this to? My boss. Who also happens to have epilepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 165

You deserved it 29 860

Next

Top comments

TheUnforgiven 8

Wednesday 25 July 2018 5:15

I've heard of faking an ****** to make someone feel better but that's a tad excessive.

Charlie Given 26

Wednesday 25 July 2018 5:27

That's when ya go get yourself a shirt made saying "I can make my girlfriend cum so hard she seized"😎

Comments

wHSKitty 11

Thursday 26 July 2018 3:35

While I’m seeing alot of people be total dicks and day YDI, my question is if OP’s gf is ok

Zebediabolical 39

Thursday 26 July 2018 5:03

...are you sure she's not just allergic to nuts?

boopingsnoot 24

Thursday 26 July 2018 17:48

It is possible to have a semen allergy

gavanator127 8

Thursday 26 July 2018 6:13

Well, on the bright side, you know you’re really good in bed.

interesting33 36

Friday 27 July 2018 1:18

OlI love the idea of a guy being all sexy and pleasuring his woman in bed, then she has a seizure and he just goes 'whoopsie'. seriously though is your girlfriend alright? what was the cause of her seizure?

Cannnabis 2

Friday 27 July 2018 11:21

Nice

trottay 9

Friday 27 July 2018 11:35

the first phone call was out of concern, the other 37 were to boast

KIEdekka 14

Friday 27 July 2018 23:03

well, at least you know you're good in bed

Mickey_Dee_Hobo_ 8

Saturday 28 July 2018 13:27

That's not how seizures happen. Theyre caused by sharp flashing lights, repeated noises in a pattern, extreme mental stress, or lack of sleep. Chances are she just happened to have one at the same time. She should see a neurologist immediately

Xavier K. Valdez 8

Friday 8 February 2019 8:09

Damn, I'd say that is a job well done... lol

Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Family Holidays Miscellaneous AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Cars Suspicious Cheating Contraception Love Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 152

You deserved it 5 869

Today, I decided to use the disabled toilet in work to get a little extra privacy while I did my business. The cleaners who unlocked the door from the outside and barged in on me were nice and waited until I finished to apologize and explain there were complaints the door had been locked for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 480

The Top

Today, my husband jokingly said to me, "I think you love Captain Kirk more than me." Without thinking, I said in a serious tone, "I think I do, too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 144

You deserved it 7 974

Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 110

You deserved it 28 918

Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 814

You deserved it 3 154

Today, I found out why everyone stares at my car when I turn a corner. My power steering squeals, and it sounds like a screaming child. I don't have enough money to fix it right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 177

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 140

You deserved it 2 643

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 451

You deserved it 7 420