Work: Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing...

By yolo is for shitheads - 09/10/2012 16:07 - United States

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 441

You deserved it 2 168

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Same thing different taste

Bad day #74746

By orourkeda - 14/04/2021 10:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 188

Hey guys, check this out

By Sonic - 15/01/2010 16:50 - United States

Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 450

You deserved it 30 916

Emergency

By BigMouth McRedface - 14/05/2010 02:11 - United States

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 824

You deserved it 33 961

Symphonic

By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 22:46 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 828

You deserved it 4 915

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 192

You deserved it 4 211

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 026

You deserved it 5 406

Am I a ghost to you?

By AJ. - 19/08/2021 14:01

Today, at work, I thought I’d sneak a wee fart out, but ended up shitting myself. I just left work without telling anyone, went home, showered, then went back to work. No one missed me being away for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 349

By TheHeirofTime - 15/08/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 257

You deserved it 1 736

By number2 - 18/10/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 433

You deserved it 4 033

TheOneTC 8

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:15

Couldn't have just said stomach bug?

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:14

Wow, she's professional.

Comments

cheekyterier 13

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:21

why wouldn't you just say you were sick? that you had intestinal problems? that way you wouldn't have to directly tell anyone what was wrong

emeraldisle 30

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:21

So much for managers being professional.

hunteer9 5

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:22

And here's another ^

matt98_fml 13

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:24

You should have told your manager prior that it was personal so he could shut off the speaker.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:38

Is it just me, or shouldn't any call from an employee to the manager be private, unless the employee specifically asks to be on speakerphone or something?

outoftown 26

Wednesday 10 October 2012 6:57

#22, Realistically, no. Not unless asked.

thathipsterchick 2

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:26

That's just shit-tastic! I'm sorry OP, that sux. FYL

thathipsterchick 2

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:32

What a shitty day

sabrinamarie3 15

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:38

That's really rude of her...

muFilter 19

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:41

Looks like you were the butt of the joke, OP...

traveler_ghost 12

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:51

OP: oh and uh, thanks for last night That'll give her something to laugh about

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:57

Why couldn't you just tell your boss that you were ill, without having to say specifically what was wrong? Did you say, " I'm having bowel distress vs (example) I have food poisoning" etc... Everyone has stomach troubles from time to time. No need to be embarrass.(: