Work: Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were... - FML

By Anony-moose - 11/10/2011 09:43 - United States

Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 149

You deserved it 2 580

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/04/2016 11:41 - United States - Bronx

Today, I had to slowly explain to my slightly ditzy roommate that no, I will not grow testicles due to taking testosterone supplements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 644

You deserved it 1 945

Lost in translation

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, as I was translating for a patient to get an MRI, the tech asked if I had metal in my body. In front of the patient, I had to disclose that my nipples were pierced, so I couldn’t accompany the patient bedside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 435

By oliverP123 - 22/07/2011 04:11 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 452

You deserved it 4 233

By milkysubstance - 14/03/2017 05:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 129

You deserved it 496

By yerface - 13/02/2009 03:52 - United States

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 741

You deserved it 8 735

By wow - 23/06/2011 08:53 - France

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 813

You deserved it 6 204

By baffled - 22/08/2012 20:36 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 526

You deserved it 1 853

By Leashaness - 15/09/2012 11:07 - United States

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 353

You deserved it 2 757

So, here's the thing…

By HairyBoobs - 05/11/2009 14:22 - United States

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 412

You deserved it 6 888

By Anonymous - 01/01/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 181

You deserved it 3 281

Next

Top comments

EelJumpsRope 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 16:10

Reinforce the fact that bologna nipples are gross and smaller nipples are a blessing.

MagicallyFat 12

Tuesday 11 October 2011 16:19

Worst super power. EVER.

Comments

Shans021 4

Thursday 13 October 2011 3:08

you should NOT be putting this on the internet that is so damn inappropriate, what kind of a doctor are you?!?

HappyPickles 11

Thursday 13 October 2011 14:35

... an anomymoose one :o)

HappyPickles 11

Thursday 13 October 2011 14:31

... I read this as stating the obvious: instead of patient's nipples getting smaller - obviously patient's breasts are getting bigger... And to all the high-and-mighty "patient-doctor-confidentiality" worry-warts: get a grip. This site is anonymoose (oops - anonymous :o). The vast majority of readers here, by definition, don't even live in the same *state* as OP or her patient - so how would anyone recognise either of them??

curlyfry2015 0

Sunday 16 October 2011 6:26

Please tell me you aren't a dentist.

Cmcnab1997 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 3:37

Best...day....EVER

shadystyle 6

Wednesday 7 December 2011 8:53

some girls need to

yourlifesucksHA 14

Sunday 24 June 2012 16:09

You should have played around and said yes they are!

Alvarortor 14

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:17

Was it a man or a woman?

rocker_chick23 27

Friday 22 August 2014 22:00

Her is a female term, the patient was female

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The Top

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

Today, we were running late because my hair got tangled in the curtains. My mother-in-law got so angry, she hacked at it, leaving me with a bald patch, then went and sat in the car as though we were still going anywhere with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 094

You deserved it 200

The Top

Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 219

You deserved it 3 749

Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who I really like, and she happens to have fairly large boobs. I have a friend who seems to think I have an obsession with boobs, so I texted her last night reading "btw, no big boob jokes tomorrow." I accidentally sent it to my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 036

You deserved it 51 707

Today, I saved a young girl from drowning in a hotel pool with no lifeguards on duty. The girl's mother was too busy on her phone to notice what was happening, and when I called out to her, she started yelling at her daughter for going in too far. Never bothered to thank me for saving her kid either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 123

You deserved it 167

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 4 689

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 862

You deserved it 3 408

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 450

You deserved it 3 819