Health: Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that... - FML

By biomajor99 - 22/04/2015 21:46 - United States - Middletown

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 2 179

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Annie's Song

By David - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 932

You deserved it 385

By Anonymous - 10/08/2016 14:10 - Serbia - Pancevo

Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 908

You deserved it 1 407

Full of…

By weman - 04/09/2021 02:00

Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 174

I've known for ages

By Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 083

You deserved it 7 184

By stoolgal - 23/09/2016 06:19 - United States - Yukon

Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 506

You deserved it 1 448

By love4cheese1197 - 02/08/2019 20:00

Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 438

You deserved it 246

The body keeps the score

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 17:00 - United Kingdom - Pontefract

Today, I started my period, complete with cramps, diarrhoea, a headache, bloating, and aching legs. Apparently my body didn't get the message that I had a total hysterectomy a month ago, including my ovaries, tubes and cervix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 115

By bathroomseww - 12/05/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 165

You deserved it 12 405

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 14:00

Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 126

Homeschooling claims another victim

By Anonymous - 27/07/2022 00:00 - United States - Liverpool

Today, I, a 33 year-old guy, had to explain to my 27 year-old girlfriend that she does NOT pee out of her vaginal opening, but does in fact have a separate hole she pees from. She didn’t believe me. After showing her a diagram of the female anatomy online, she said, “Yeah well I don’t have one of those.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 130

Next

Top comments

bacon_is_life 12

Thursday 23 April 2015 8:35

Tell her it makes you become hysterical

serslybro 20

Thursday 23 April 2015 8:35

Lol! I hope you gave her an anatomy lesson!

Comments

irishmaiden78 23

Thursday 23 April 2015 19:53

I had mine just over a year ago. I have to keep explaining things to a friend as well how they did it, how I felt afterwards and all that jazz...

BrandiLush 31

Thursday 23 April 2015 20:41

I know exactly how you feel. I'm having a hysterectomy in 2 weeks and keep having to explain what that means.

Sasshole 4

Saturday 25 April 2015 19:50

I just had mine 2 days ago. Be prepared for major gas and pain. Nobody bothered to tell me they fill you full of air. Very painful and the 1st BM is worse than having a child! Good luck!

ohSNAPyall 26

Thursday 23 April 2015 21:04

"But you're getting your butt removed!"

MDoremis 38

Thursday 23 April 2015 21:46

This makes me slightly ashamed of being twenty three.

imunoz903 13

Friday 24 April 2015 1:33

And that's about the time she walked awaaay from me, nobody likes when you're tweeeenty-three

Sora_McKain 36

Thursday 8 September 2016 6:42

Why the hell is wrong with me? My friends say I should act my age, what's my age again? What's my age again?

savemeSheehan 8

Monday 27 April 2015 22:00

american educational system for ya

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The Top

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 939

You deserved it 7 935

Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 181

The Top

Today, I was told that the $500 I'm owed for babysitting isn't going to happen. Why? Because after six months of watching a friend's six children, she's moved 120 miles away and no longer needs me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 788

You deserved it 4 426

Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 056

You deserved it 2 686

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 349

You deserved it 1 891

Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 882

You deserved it 20 825

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be responsible and put parental controls on the Playstation so our kids can't play adult games or watch adult content online. And now, neither can we. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 237

You deserved it 5 107

Today, and every other day for the past week and a half, I have added a new step to my nightly routine: violently throwing up, just before bed. Fuck you, gallbladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 119