Miscellaneous: Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that miles are the same...

By MiceMiles - 10/12/2015 12:34 - United States - Seattle

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that miles are the same distance for everything. He thought that human miles were different than mouse miles, because they're smaller. He's 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 951

You deserved it 2 475

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/10/2012 14:50 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 858

You deserved it 2 852

Homeschooled?

By Anonymous - 27/02/2022 20:00 - United States - Wareham

Today, I found out my boyfriend didn’t know what quotation marks are. He’s 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 130

By what did i marry - 25/05/2018 12:00 - United States - Memphis

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the Earth is not flat. He didn’t believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 879

You deserved it 575

By inchetogb - 15/01/2011 04:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 613

You deserved it 3 412

Model behavior

By anonymous - 15/04/2013 01:07 - United States - La Pine

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 943

You deserved it 5 172

For me?

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend gave me a very thoughtful gift: A pair of woolen socks, hand-knitted by his mom. They were a size 43. Yes, that’s his size. I wear a 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 108

By geek - 22/07/2015 03:02 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 757

You deserved it 1 778

By Mightaswelltutordogs - 21/12/2014 01:16 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 539

You deserved it 5 571

By Anonymous - 11/03/2014 18:51

Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 002

You deserved it 4 360

Gobble gobble

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 00:01

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't take drugs from strangers. I'm 35 and he's 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 138

BlackHawkSavior 28

Thursday 10 December 2015 19:21

34 mouse years or 34 human years?

Tripartita 44

Thursday 10 December 2015 19:28

Damn, so when that mouse was bragging to me about running several miles, he was talking about ACTUAL miles?! That IS impressive.

Comments

Goblin182 26

Friday 11 December 2015 13:12

I bet I could run a mouse mile in a New York minute.

juggalo2 20

Friday 11 December 2015 15:18

Since there is no such measurement as a "mouse mile" or a "human mile", whether he is wrong or not would depend on the context.

Karpath 5

Friday 11 December 2015 16:01

Ask him which is heavier: 1 ton of feathers or 1 ton of concrete

tomvertigo 17

Friday 11 December 2015 16:05

What the **** conversation were you having that this even came up?

ayylmaoooo 3

Friday 11 December 2015 16:50

you were probably just being a stubborn ass and he meant proportionally

0h_Boy 26

Friday 11 December 2015 18:07

Well, there's land miles, nautical miles, astronomical miles...

Incognico 22

Friday 11 December 2015 18:21

Don't forget the mile high club..

thatsme293 28

Friday 11 December 2015 18:24

This post hurt my brain.

carlyhammond 7

Friday 11 December 2015 20:01

My pregnant brain actually was like "huh, that makes sense" FML

IIIIRowdy 5

Saturday 12 December 2015 11:03

Everything is possible with your wird way of measuring length

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 12 December 2015 20:22

Talk to him about light years. You'll blow his mind.

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Love Am I overreacting? Facebook Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Students Relatable Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, after having had a sore throat all day, I finally decided to have a throat lozenge on the bus. It was nice and soothing, until the bus sharply turned a corner and I started coughing and choking on it violently like a cat with a furball. My throat now feels like Satan pissed nails down it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 88

Today, I was been accused of stealing lunches from the fridge at work. I’m a huge germaphobe and would NEVER eat someone else’s food, but because I’m the fattest one in the office, everyone automatically blamed me. Hashtag fatgirlproblems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 154

The Top

Today, my daughter had a flat tire. When she told me about it, I said, “Well, it’s a good thing you know how to change a tire!” She then replied that she has actually forgotten how to change a tire, because it’s “been too long.” It’s only been a couple months since I showed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 298

Today, I sharted while skiing - wearing a bib outfit and no change of clothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 418

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 371

You deserved it 29 703

Today, once again, my family had a loud conversation over the television show I was quietly watching. Ironically, the moment they watch something they like, even if it's a re-run episode, you have to be quiet or you'll be called a monster. Simply say "Hi" and they'll pause the TV to look at you like an annoyance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 117

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 411

You deserved it 43 027

Today, I discovered my husband has a secret Facebook where he is a member of many step dad support groups. I thought it was sweet he was asking for advice, until I read some of what he posted. It was purely ranting about how much he hates my kids to other dads, who also hate their step kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 261