Kids: Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick...

By latter - 24/09/2013 00:05 - United States - Middle River

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 325

You deserved it 3 311

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Same thing different taste

By whatarethisss - 29/01/2016 16:20 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I had to teach my 16-year-old brother how to use a toaster. He thought you just plug it in and wait for it to "pre-heat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 976

You deserved it 1 693

Brain melt

By coco1234 - 09/03/2020 12:35

Today, I stood there for 10 minutes trying to fix the toaster, until I called my brother to help me. I'd forgotten that it wasn't plugged in. He now thinks I'm a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 1 452

By Evaki1 - 13/06/2011 14:24 - Greece

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 687

You deserved it 4 584

It's toast

By Crying - 16/04/2017 02:00

Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 776

You deserved it 370

By ProsserBabe11 - 15/04/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates with my new boyfriend and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 093

You deserved it 2 534

By Anonymous - 01/01/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 183

You deserved it 3 281

By jenni6488 - 22/02/2012 07:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 509

You deserved it 23 302

By 12693 - 24/10/2012 17:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 575

You deserved it 2 108

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 955

You deserved it 2 841

By smarterthanmymum - 26/05/2011 09:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 280

You deserved it 2 992

Kibaruto 33

Tuesday 24 September 2013 10:03

If it's not plugged in, it's fair game.

RojerRamjet 3

Tuesday 24 September 2013 10:03

Should have let him find out the hard way

Comments

xRezSynn 15

Wednesday 25 September 2013 12:15

Kids these days need to learn things to hard way.

Huddisher 10

Wednesday 25 September 2013 13:33

Toasted wiener.

yoyoyopyop 1

Wednesday 25 September 2013 18:58

He turned it on

incoherentrmblr 21

Wednesday 25 September 2013 22:33

I understand using a bagel after it's been in the toaster, but the toaster itself is taking it a little further...

blackonblight 32

Wednesday 25 September 2013 22:45

Please give us an age here. If we're talking toddler, fine. School age and up? The only reason to stop him is liability.

an3ph 20

Thursday 26 September 2013 0:44

Why explain it? Let him find out for himself, hopefully removing himself from the gene pool in the process.

pcgwm 13

Thursday 26 September 2013 18:13

Should have just let him do it. See what happens, lol

Muttley9 13

Sunday 29 September 2013 11:40

Self solving problem; toasted penis, shocked penis... no more penis in toaster. You there have the essence of parenting :)

JVIarijke 24

Saturday 7 December 2013 14:23

So why isn't it?

CaroAurelia 12

Sunday 1 March 2015 14:31

Why would anybody need that explained to them?!?

Keywords

Food Miscellaneous Toxic Family Gross Health Love Valentine's Day Homeowners Home improvement Kids Awkward Drugs Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Animals Cats Work Coworkers Transportation Airplanes Embarrassing Sleep Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend of 3 years in his living room when a girl barges in, sees us, and screams, "I knew it!" then rushes out. My boyfriend gets up, grabs his pants, and, while chasing after her, yells, "Baby, she's nothing, you know I only love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 7 314

Today, I learned a state senator is pushing a law to prosecute women for murder if they have an abortion, even out of state. Miscarriages would be investigated for aggravated assault, and if deemed unintentional, life insurance benefits would still be denied. I fear for the women in my county. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 182

The Top

Today, my fiancé completely missed the birth of our first child because he had started watching a new series on Netflix and really wanted to know how it ended. By the time he made it to the hospital our daughter was already 7 hours old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 261

You deserved it 1 051

Today, I was moving to the city with all my belongings when the trailer came unhitched, breaking the chains on my dad's homemade trailer. I then watched as the trailer narrowly missed a guardrail, went down a hill and into a river. My dad still won't admit he didn't latch the hitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 257

You deserved it 4 389

Today, my girlfriend and I went to a shop known for its hardcore sex toys. We happened to run into one of my university lecturers and her wife discussing butt plugs with a member of staff, and then saw my aunt and uncle at the register. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 715

You deserved it 1 210

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 302

You deserved it 4 213

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 300

You deserved it 3 666

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 102

You deserved it 54 005

Same thing different taste

Brain melt

It's toast

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