Kids: Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick... - FML

By latter - 24/09/2013 00:05 - United States - Middle River

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 311

You deserved it 3 310

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By whatarethisss - 29/01/2016 16:20 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I had to teach my 16-year-old brother how to use a toaster. He thought you just plug it in and wait for it to "pre-heat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 966

You deserved it 1 689

Brain melt

By coco1234 - 09/03/2020 12:35

Today, I stood there for 10 minutes trying to fix the toaster, until I called my brother to help me. I'd forgotten that it wasn't plugged in. He now thinks I'm a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 1 431

By Evaki1 - 13/06/2011 14:24 - Greece

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 673

You deserved it 4 581

It's toast

By Crying - 16/04/2017 02:00

Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 767

You deserved it 364

By ProsserBabe11 - 15/04/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates with my new boyfriend and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 087

You deserved it 2 526

By Anonymous - 01/01/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 168

You deserved it 3 278

By jenni6488 - 22/02/2012 07:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 506

You deserved it 23 292

By 12693 - 24/10/2012 17:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 2 105

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 937

You deserved it 2 839

By smarterthanmymum - 26/05/2011 09:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 267

You deserved it 2 985

Next

Top comments

Kibaruto 33

Tuesday 24 September 2013 10:03

If it's not plugged in, it's fair game.

RojerRamjet 3

Tuesday 24 September 2013 10:03

Should have let him find out the hard way

Comments

Stayin_Classy777 8

Tuesday 24 September 2013 14:28

If the toaster is slightly warm, it's not a bad idea to try it out, you can thank me later

jesse98 7

Tuesday 24 September 2013 14:30

Wait, it's not ok?

mbuck87 19

Tuesday 24 September 2013 14:34

So... Why not?

Shadowranger31 5

Tuesday 24 September 2013 14:44

You should have let him do it, but then you plug at in and watch. He'll learn why it was bad!

madamspammalot 15

Tuesday 24 September 2013 14:56

This sounds like natural selection at work...

stitesy29 18

Tuesday 24 September 2013 14:56

What the actual ****

joshuarowe88 5

Tuesday 24 September 2013 15:06

WHERE THE **** DO CHILDREN GET THESE IDEAS

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 24 September 2013 15:27

Pop goes the weasel?

phaidetublacke 7

Tuesday 24 September 2013 16:03

I can hear all of the electrical devices in the house talking to each other after the event: Toaster: WTH! Did you guys just see what he did to me? I feel so violated! Vacuum Cleaner: I warned you about him.

Maxilius 9

Tuesday 24 September 2013 16:19

Shoulda let him find out for himself why it's a bad idea.

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The Top

Today, I needed some contact lens solution, so I left my room to look in my sister's room to see if she had any. I walked in to see my mom sucking my dad off on her bed. They didn't see me so I walked away, but the image is engraved in my mind forever now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 177

You deserved it 509

Today, I went for a massage because my shoulder's been hurting for months but I can't take decent painkillers because they'd react with my anti-depressants. It STILL hurts, but worse, across my upper spine, and I can't tilt my head back. I paid to look like The Hunchback of Notre Dame doing a swan impression. FML

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You deserved it 106

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 15 566

You deserved it 18 837

Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 99

Today, my cat decided that the best place for her to pee was over the surge protector where my modem, router, and printer are plugged in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 209

Today, I was in class with a water bottle on my desk. I was on my phone not paying attention, when some girl knocked it over by accident. I went to grab it, even though it was in the corner of my eye. I caught the bottle of water but I also happened to grab her ass at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 431

You deserved it 1 194

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 159

You deserved it 11 462

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 354

You deserved it 52 030