Kids: Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick... - FML

By latter - 24/09/2013 00:05 - United States - Middle River

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 311

You deserved it 3 310

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By whatarethisss - 29/01/2016 16:20 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I had to teach my 16-year-old brother how to use a toaster. He thought you just plug it in and wait for it to "pre-heat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 966

You deserved it 1 689

Brain melt

By coco1234 - 09/03/2020 12:35

Today, I stood there for 10 minutes trying to fix the toaster, until I called my brother to help me. I'd forgotten that it wasn't plugged in. He now thinks I'm a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 1 431

By Evaki1 - 13/06/2011 14:24 - Greece

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 673

You deserved it 4 581

It's toast

By Crying - 16/04/2017 02:00

Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 767

You deserved it 364

By ProsserBabe11 - 15/04/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates with my new boyfriend and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 087

You deserved it 2 526

By Anonymous - 01/01/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 168

You deserved it 3 278

By jenni6488 - 22/02/2012 07:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 506

You deserved it 23 292

By 12693 - 24/10/2012 17:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 2 105

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 937

You deserved it 2 839

By smarterthanmymum - 26/05/2011 09:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 267

You deserved it 2 985

Next

Top comments

Kibaruto 33

Tuesday 24 September 2013 10:03

If it's not plugged in, it's fair game.

RojerRamjet 3

Tuesday 24 September 2013 10:03

Should have let him find out the hard way

Comments

PrimeStarscream 30

Tuesday 24 September 2013 20:04

At least his stupidity won't be reproduced if he keeps it up.

FizzyFun 8

Tuesday 24 September 2013 20:31

Mmm Mmmm Toasty

3563560 7

Tuesday 24 September 2013 20:51

How old is he?

KingreX32 21

Tuesday 24 September 2013 21:12

HA!!!!! what an idiot. How old is you're brother.

utrax 23

Tuesday 24 September 2013 22:19

He'll probably forget to unplug it one day, and then he'll understand why it's a bad idea.

ulissey_fml 22

Tuesday 24 September 2013 22:41

He really took it at heart when he was told he was his Mother's Pride !!

wdwillever 10

Tuesday 24 September 2013 23:50

i have found out with kids, if they don't like the results of the first time they do it, they won't do it again

FrankHotpants 31

Wednesday 25 September 2013 1:21

Exactly how would it even fit in a rectangular shaped opening?

chosha_fml 26

Wednesday 25 September 2013 2:14

Turn the power on and let the toaster explain.

Damitol 3

Wednesday 25 September 2013 6:07

Hey let him learn the hard way. I mean seriously those things reach 400+ degrees. He won't make that mistake twice...and if he makes it ONCE then your new claim to fame will be the brother of a DARWIN AWARD WINNER!

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The Top

Today, I watched my best friend get married to the guy I have been in love with since the eighth grade. I was the maid of honor, and had to give a toast to the couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 853

You deserved it 17 921

Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 112

The Top

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 747

You deserved it 3 210

Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 738

You deserved it 654

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 402

You deserved it 57 882

Today, my Dad gave me my birthday card. The envelope was blank, as was the card, and the £0.25 price tag was still on. He was fully aware of all these things, but handed it to me and said, "By the way, I didn't write anything." Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 580

You deserved it 247

Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 974

You deserved it 4 350

Today, after being unemployed for a couple of months, I got a call back from a security job I did for a week. But with a new condition: besides the security work, one day in the week they want me to cut grass, paint and clean up the grounds for the same minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 271

You deserved it 182