Kids: Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick...

By latter - 24/09/2013 00:05 - United States - Middle River

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 325

You deserved it 3 311

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Same thing different taste

By whatarethisss - 29/01/2016 16:20 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I had to teach my 16-year-old brother how to use a toaster. He thought you just plug it in and wait for it to "pre-heat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 976

You deserved it 1 693

Brain melt

By coco1234 - 09/03/2020 12:35

Today, I stood there for 10 minutes trying to fix the toaster, until I called my brother to help me. I'd forgotten that it wasn't plugged in. He now thinks I'm a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 1 452

By Evaki1 - 13/06/2011 14:24 - Greece

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 687

You deserved it 4 584

It's toast

By Crying - 16/04/2017 02:00

Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 776

You deserved it 370

By ProsserBabe11 - 15/04/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates with my new boyfriend and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 093

You deserved it 2 534

By Anonymous - 01/01/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 183

You deserved it 3 281

By jenni6488 - 22/02/2012 07:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 509

You deserved it 23 302

By 12693 - 24/10/2012 17:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 575

You deserved it 2 108

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 955

You deserved it 2 841

By smarterthanmymum - 26/05/2011 09:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 280

You deserved it 2 992

Kibaruto 33

Tuesday 24 September 2013 10:03

If it's not plugged in, it's fair game.

RojerRamjet 3

Tuesday 24 September 2013 10:03

Should have let him find out the hard way

Comments

cathrope 10

Tuesday 24 September 2013 16:23

Did the explaining involve turning the toaster on?

Sacytrl 28

Tuesday 24 September 2013 16:33

Just turn it on and let him learn from experience

reymon8823 24

Tuesday 24 September 2013 17:24

Ummm ouch burn hot no no

Goblin182 26

Tuesday 24 September 2013 17:26

This is one of these things that people shold find out for themselves.

Omniprism 14

Tuesday 24 September 2013 18:04

Let him figure it out. Give him the toaster and buy a new one.

ViviMage 39

Tuesday 24 September 2013 18:04

He just wants cream cheese on his toasted bagel!

blackbeltpsycho 16

Tuesday 24 September 2013 18:10

Who just gets the idea "You know, I feel like ******* a toaster today."?

howdoilogin 9

Tuesday 24 September 2013 18:35

Wait you're not supposed to do that?

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 24 September 2013 19:42

Is this to get the toast out or just for fun?

greenbaybuddy 2

Tuesday 24 September 2013 19:57

Lmfao hard

Keywords

Food Toxic Family Miscellaneous Gross Love Health Valentine's Day Homeowners Home improvement Kids Awkward Drugs Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Animals Cats Work Coworkers Transportation Airplanes Embarrassing Sleep Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, it's been a few weeks since I had my first sexual experience in 6 years following my divorce. It was with a woman I’ve known for years. We get on amazingly, more than me and my ex ever did. She’s sweet, sexy, funny, amazing in bed, and even likes Xbox. Unfortunately she also gave me Scabies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 188

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 580

You deserved it 15 091

The Top

Today, I went to the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 for a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying for my own drinks, plus theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 441

You deserved it 3 465

Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 015

You deserved it 25 734

Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 1 713

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 442

You deserved it 5 834

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 437

You deserved it 8 910

Today, my boyfriend told me he traded nude pictures I sent him for a costume piece in an internet game. He told me I should be okay with this, because, "It's a rare piece." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 047

You deserved it 7 037

Same thing different taste

Brain melt

It's toast

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