Intimacy: Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated...

By kinky - 05/08/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 657

You deserved it 37 996

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Same thing different taste

You wanker!

By Nik - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 458

You deserved it 4 568

Get some rest

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 18:01

Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 134

By unlucky - 29/03/2014 23:06 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 795

You deserved it 3 395

By metalmeow - 17/06/2019 05:00

Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 695

You deserved it 213

Unimpressed

By kylie - 02/04/2021 17:01

Today, my doctor told me that I have severely and permanently injured my shoulder. Last week, I attempted to lift more weight than I normally do in an effort to impress my boyfriend. He was not impressed. In fact he said that most kids can lift more than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 954

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 20:55 - United States - College Place

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 010

You deserved it 27 437

By one_BAMF - 25/07/2010 05:06 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 384

You deserved it 42 189

Overdoing it a bit

By Anonymous - 12/11/2022 16:00

Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 1 179

Painful romance

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 10:00

Today, while my spouse and I were 'doing the do' we went to change positions… but instead we changed the location of their shoulder joint. Fully dislocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 202

By too eager - 25/04/2016 15:21 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, I had a date with an amazing girl so in the shower I wanted to make sure I was extra clean. With the soaped up shower puff in hand I tried to get as much of my back as I could which led to me pushing too far and dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 985

You deserved it 2 981

turtlemansam 6

Thursday 5 August 2010 9:11

Can't you just make up an excuse ?

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 5 August 2010 9:15

How the **** do you ********** intensely enough to dislocate your shoulder?

Comments

Tequila_Hilton 3

Thursday 5 August 2010 10:11

YDI. for not getting sexi sexi time.

gangstahjennstah 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 10:14

hahahaha! kudos!

TheDude42 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 10:18

that's is just fail..

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 10:24

Rough dismount?

bighairdontcare 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 10:29

wow did u rip your penis off too?! l0l I would say get a girl but you might get too excited taking her bra off and suffocate her with the strap

yellowdaisy92 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 10:35

shoulder? wow im surprised ur man parts didnt get dislocated..haha

TheGerman 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 10:48

Haha something similar happened to me like that recently only I was having sex with my fiancé fell off the pool table and broke 4 ribs!

Brodynn 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 10:57

I'm a woman, and I'm gonna tell u BULLSHIT!

heidiarestupid 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 11:01

geez. you ********** weird..

cvizzle 2

Thursday 5 August 2010 11:44

LOL

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You deserved it 2 645

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You deserved it 33 533

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