Health: Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor...

By Jesse - 10/05/2012 21:22 - United States - Bothell

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 066

You deserved it 2 419

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Same thing different taste

By jonh_215 - 08/04/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 040

You deserved it 4 005

Jim Henson lives

By Anonymous - 20/04/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 465

You deserved it 5 127

By Anonymous - 29/04/2013 16:51 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 780

You deserved it 13 331

By Anonymous - 02/07/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 994

You deserved it 8 644

Creepy nevertheless

By humdrummitydrum - 19/08/2014 20:46 - United States

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 220

You deserved it 6 680

Gender bending

By Anonymous - 03/09/2021 16:59

Today, my doctor told me to take off my pants so she could do a checkup. When I took them off, she gasped. When I asked what was wrong, she said she was expecting something else. She thought I was a dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 200

By Anonymous - 08/05/2013 06:42 - United States

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 038

You deserved it 5 541

Relaxed

By Sorry, Doc - 10/09/2022 01:30

Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 223

By applegreen - 16/02/2017 15:00 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 586

You deserved it 507

By welp24 - 28/10/2018 03:00

Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 198

You deserved it 368

monicadempsy 5

Friday 11 May 2012 8:02

Listen to your Doc damnit!

lukep135 6

Friday 11 May 2012 8:03

I personally like to imagine a fat redneck stroking my rectum during prostate exams, but to each his own

Comments

zurpzurp 4

Friday 11 May 2012 8:46

What?!? It's not true? My Doctor has some "splaining" to do....

pdp_fml 21

Friday 11 May 2012 12:20

You must have seen the I Love Lucy Show.

keepingitnasty 15

Friday 11 May 2012 8:47

Was this doctor in a white, windowless van? I fell for that once too.

Nevereverland 8

Friday 11 May 2012 10:09

Taking a wild guess here butt was he in a santa costume and giving out candy as well?

TarieBoo 2

Friday 11 May 2012 9:13

because that would make it all the less awkward._.

aFreedom127 9

Friday 11 May 2012 9:36

Not that there's anything wrong with a little alien anal probing!

linkinpark98 23

Friday 11 May 2012 9:46

I knew E.T. looked sketchy.....

bogart20 13

Friday 11 May 2012 9:52

Gettin what the doctor ordered

LadyGore 12

Friday 11 May 2012 10:16

That's such a win. Haha

Candice0687 0

Friday 11 May 2012 10:53

Yeah because that would make it less awkward

Ugi 26

Friday 11 May 2012 11:23

It's only awkward when you feel both of the doc's hands on your shoulders....

KhrystinaS 0

Friday 11 May 2012 12:00

That makes things wayyy more awkward

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my father came to my sister's place and yelled at her, "I knew it, you're such a whore!" because she slept with her new boyfriend. He's her first boyfriend in five years, since my father scared her previous boyfriend because of my father's possessive behavior. My sister is 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 114

Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 111

The Top

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 808

You deserved it 37 582

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I agree, your life sucks 3 765

You deserved it 790

Today, after I can't count how many times, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to break MORE things in our home, because I asked him not to let our son speak to me rudely. His response, "He said 'OK' so you should have shut up." Basically, he's raising my kid to treat me like he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 119

You deserved it 611

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 105

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 583

You deserved it 3 048

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it was. He just paused, turned to look me in the eye, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 966

You deserved it 20 514