Health: Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor...

By Jesse - 10/05/2012 21:22 - United States - Bothell

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 066

You deserved it 2 419

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Same thing different taste

By jonh_215 - 08/04/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 040

You deserved it 4 005

Jim Henson lives

By Anonymous - 20/04/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 465

You deserved it 5 127

By Anonymous - 29/04/2013 16:51 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 780

You deserved it 13 331

By Anonymous - 02/07/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 994

You deserved it 8 644

Creepy nevertheless

By humdrummitydrum - 19/08/2014 20:46 - United States

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 220

You deserved it 6 680

Gender bending

By Anonymous - 03/09/2021 16:59

Today, my doctor told me to take off my pants so she could do a checkup. When I took them off, she gasped. When I asked what was wrong, she said she was expecting something else. She thought I was a dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 200

By Anonymous - 08/05/2013 06:42 - United States

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 038

You deserved it 5 541

Relaxed

By Sorry, Doc - 10/09/2022 01:30

Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 223

By applegreen - 16/02/2017 15:00 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 586

You deserved it 507

By welp24 - 28/10/2018 03:00

Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 198

You deserved it 368

monicadempsy 5

Friday 11 May 2012 8:02

Listen to your Doc damnit!

lukep135 6

Friday 11 May 2012 8:03

I personally like to imagine a fat redneck stroking my rectum during prostate exams, but to each his own

Comments

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Friday 11 May 2012 15:20

Because that wouldn't be awkward at all.

Casalenuovo 0

Friday 11 May 2012 15:28

That just makes it even more awkward

laden_swallow09 34

Friday 11 May 2012 15:34

For science!

jopey 3

Friday 11 May 2012 15:47

That made me laugh (: needed that today ha

skyeyez9 24

Friday 11 May 2012 16:21

Apparently, John Travolta is into anal probings from all the recent articles on him.

yoi55 0

Friday 11 May 2012 16:49

Ha! That's awesome lol

TrentF13 12

Friday 11 May 2012 17:02

Aaaawwwwwkwaaarrrd.... So did you imagine it? :D

NoxiousNorwegian 5

Friday 11 May 2012 17:49

Aliens.... No that's not awkward at all...(either)

XxUNBROKENxX 7

Friday 11 May 2012 18:05

Ya cuz that's definitely less awkward......

Diesixdie 2

Friday 11 May 2012 18:54

That's funny. Not really bad enough to make one want to scream FML, but, funny.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I walked into a public toilet and I opened a stall door, only to discover someone who had forgotten to lock the door sitting on the can. Instead of saying "Sorry," I panicked and said, "Nice shoes!" I then had to wait until they left because I was too embarrassed to face them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 148

Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 603

You deserved it 8 588

The Top

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 054

You deserved it 7 435

Today, someone came in for an interview. For my position. I wasn’t informed that they were replacing me. I had to set up the room for this interview. FML

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You deserved it 86

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 219

You deserved it 5 968

Today, I was in a car accident while driving to my brother's school to drop off some documents that he had to bring in, and forgot at home. While not even driving at 20 km/h, I started drifting on an icy spot. I hit a road sign and my car fell into a ditch. I probably have a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 109

Today, I was listening to music while I wrapped Christmas presents. All was going well when the music was cut off, literally. I snipped the cable to my very expensive headphones in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 224

You deserved it 35 038

Today, my psychiatrist prescribed Xanax. I thought that was a little extreme and that my anxiety wasn't bad enough for that. Within the next hour, I had 2 panic attacks. I guess I'm worse off than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 130