Health: Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter....

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:03 - United States

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 138

You deserved it 3 937

When Christmas Ends Badly…
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Same thing different taste

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 14:00

Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 126

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 03:09 - United States

Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 053

You deserved it 32 412

Oh, hai Mark!

By lyle - 02/04/2021 08:00

Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 198

She's 28

By beelover97 - 28/05/2022 18:00

Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Apparently she stood on top of a table and screamed, “I HAVE SYPHILIS” at the top of her lungs. She’s in kindergarten. Where in the world did she even hear that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 144

By rkl2010 - 23/05/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 464

You deserved it 3 456

By momlife - 28/03/2016 20:45 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 129

You deserved it 2 088

Kills 99% of all bacteria

By Anonymous - 17/02/2022 22:00

Today, I was so tired this morning when I went to take a dump and instead of using a baby wipe, I used a Lysol wipe. Guess I don’t have Covid up my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 378

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

By lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 757

You deserved it 337

Happy Easter!

By Dummy - 01/04/2018 15:00

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 746

You deserved it 1 436

TheTehOhPeh 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:44

I can't even imagine how painful that would be... Dear god...

bryyxoo 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:45

Bleach kills everything right? No? Oh...

Comments

make_me_smile 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:20

there is no amount of words that can descibe that level of stupidity

mnmolino 14

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:23

Poor girl, she was scared senseless

mintstashinurtea 5

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:17

It's impossible to be scared senseless when you have absolutely no sense to begin with.

tallgirl93 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:26

That's just raunchy as hell and said cuz she has an STD

liftedyoda 5

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:27

Hah your daughters a *****

a_lenzmeier 11

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:28

Well that's just dumb. Everyone knows the spray is the most effective.

lolmigosh 15

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:28

I dont get the Clorox wipes part...

DontForgetMe4 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:33

to my previous comment- I worded it wrong. I meant that as a dumbass thing to do it'd make more sense for her to try to "wash it off" with "soap". I'm not a complete dumbass.