Health: Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter....

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:03 - United States

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 138

You deserved it 3 937

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 14:00

Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 126

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 03:09 - United States

Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 053

You deserved it 32 412

Oh, hai Mark!

By lyle - 02/04/2021 08:00

Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 198

She's 28

By beelover97 - 28/05/2022 18:00

Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Apparently she stood on top of a table and screamed, “I HAVE SYPHILIS” at the top of her lungs. She’s in kindergarten. Where in the world did she even hear that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 144

By rkl2010 - 23/05/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 464

You deserved it 3 456

By momlife - 28/03/2016 20:45 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 129

You deserved it 2 088

Kills 99% of all bacteria

By Anonymous - 17/02/2022 22:00

Today, I was so tired this morning when I went to take a dump and instead of using a baby wipe, I used a Lysol wipe. Guess I don’t have Covid up my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 378

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

By lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 757

You deserved it 337

Happy Easter!

By Dummy - 01/04/2018 15:00

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 746

You deserved it 1 436

TheTehOhPeh 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:44

I can't even imagine how painful that would be... Dear god...

bryyxoo 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:45

Bleach kills everything right? No? Oh...

Comments

chelsinator 8

Saturday 28 January 2012 2:40

And all of you saying how bad it would burn must have STDs? I'm just sayin..

mintstashinurtea 5

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:34

or perhaps, they mean THE BLEACH would burn...just saying.

KandieCandy 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 2:40

I don't blame her, if I were her and I caught an STD, I would do the same thing.

mintstashinurtea 5

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:39

... -_- .......

CaptainPickles72 18

Saturday 28 January 2012 4:16

Congratulations #83, you just admitted to the internet that you're stupid! If you ever catch and STD (though I hope you don't, I would never even wish that on my worst enemy) please try to use the Clorox wipe method and send me a video of you reaction.

kittenvks 11

Saturday 28 January 2012 2:41

This puts a new meaning on having shit Ajax can't take off rofl

FIRESTARTER97 3

Saturday 28 January 2012 2:44

U should have told her to use a CONDOM

mama2b3 20

Saturday 28 January 2012 2:45

I've never heard anything like this before. That's ridiculous.

misfitmonroe 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 2:48

So, either way it still burned. Yikes..

sharkeiyy 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 2:48

That great at least she wont do it again (:

tom_es 3

Saturday 28 January 2012 2:55

You better start talking to her and being open about the staff of life...otherwise you will have her in big trouble soon. Make sure she knows you are available with no judging.

Colonel_Lexi 18

Saturday 28 January 2012 2:59

Yes, OP's daughter made a stupid mistake and tried to fix it with an even dumber solution but that doesn't mean she is stupid; she was scared, poor kid didn't know what to do or what she had gotten herself into. Stop judging others before you know the entire situation, for all you know OP's daughter could've been raped and was too ashamed or frightened to tell her mother about it(hopefully this is just a hypothetical).