Health: Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter....

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:03 - United States

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 138

You deserved it 3 937

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Same thing different taste

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 14:00

Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 126

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 03:09 - United States

Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 053

You deserved it 32 412

Oh, hai Mark!

By lyle - 02/04/2021 08:00

Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 198

She's 28

By beelover97 - 28/05/2022 18:00

Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Apparently she stood on top of a table and screamed, “I HAVE SYPHILIS” at the top of her lungs. She’s in kindergarten. Where in the world did she even hear that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 144

By rkl2010 - 23/05/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 464

You deserved it 3 456

By momlife - 28/03/2016 20:45 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 129

You deserved it 2 088

Kills 99% of all bacteria

By Anonymous - 17/02/2022 22:00

Today, I was so tired this morning when I went to take a dump and instead of using a baby wipe, I used a Lysol wipe. Guess I don’t have Covid up my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 378

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

By lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 757

You deserved it 337

Happy Easter!

By Dummy - 01/04/2018 15:00

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 746

You deserved it 1 436

TheTehOhPeh 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:44

I can't even imagine how painful that would be... Dear god...

bryyxoo 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:45

Bleach kills everything right? No? Oh...

Comments

sknabc123 8

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:48

Get his ass in there, any make him clean dat shit up !!

HurryUp_and_BUY 6

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:48

Damn. Your daughter makes Flavor Flav look like an intellectual.

VeeEight 5

Saturday 28 January 2012 6:42

Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

saranndipidy 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:50

now clorox needs a new warning label on their wipes. warning: for cleaning purposes only, does not cure or prevent any STD. if c used to cure an STD seek medical help .

profoundkisses 18

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:54

Sucks that she doesn't wanna talk to you about that.

chelseaaa92 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:55

Oooouch! Stupid, stupid girl!!!!!

kittenvks 11

Saturday 28 January 2012 7:26

For the record, for those of you that very obviously don't know a condom is for birth control. 99.9% effective. It can help against an STD but is not as effective. It's NOT a garuntee by any means.

isis_morrigan 18

Saturday 28 January 2012 20:18

actually, aside from abstinence, a condom provides the best protection from stds, research it again. no other birth control offers protection from an STD, aside from the female condom, which is still a condom.

dbt88 15

Saturday 28 January 2012 8:04

I think that'd be a more awkward conversation to have with your mother than just informing her you contracted something.

ivanhoe4u 3

Saturday 28 January 2012 8:07

You better get her fixed fast. We don't want her breeding.

toshaama 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 8:15

Her poor ******! D: it's been through a lot.

j_cat187 19

Saturday 28 January 2012 8:38

It needs therapy

randomkayx3 11

Saturday 28 January 2012 8:33

I kinda feel bad for the girl, but then again. She feels she's grown enough to have sex then she should have thought of the consequences. Judging by her cleaning herself with Clorox wipes, she's probably young. At least I hope she wasn't an adult...