Kids: Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old...

By Anonymous - 01/03/2013 00:15 - United States - Brighton

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 479

You deserved it 9 883

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Same thing different taste

By duckthehack - 28/01/2011 14:25 - Poland

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 981

You deserved it 8 898

What are you doing here?

By sadmom - 18/03/2020 05:05

Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 431

By don'tdrinkthat - 03/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 271

You deserved it 4 827

Kinda deserved it

By Anonymous - 10/12/2021 14:02

Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 1 641

Bad seed

By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 22:00 - United States - Worcester

Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 343

You're under arrest

By poo_shoe123 - 31/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 632

You deserved it 10 236

By ohcrap - 02/08/2011 04:58 - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 487

You deserved it 16 133

By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 05:08 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had to go into school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 741

You deserved it 3 339

By Anonymous - 30/05/2012 18:47 - United Kingdom - Barry

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 934

You deserved it 3 029

By Failed Parent - 11/10/2012 06:59 - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 940

You deserved it 4 642

Transfusion 8

Friday 1 March 2013 6:16

Should've told your boss why you were leaving and he would've understood.

Omfgitsmia 15

Friday 1 March 2013 6:18

Why not tell your boss you had to take care of something with your child?

Comments

karlcolt45 19

Friday 1 March 2013 6:31

at least your reason wasn't as embarrassing

Enslaved 36

Friday 1 March 2013 6:35

Cool Runnings Part Deux, in the making!

Tempest151 11

Friday 1 March 2013 6:45

Did he win the race at least?

XDsmileyDX_fml 24

Friday 1 March 2013 7:22

My son and I.

HouseElf 13

Friday 1 March 2013 10:30

Grammar nazi fail! This one's a bit tricky though so I'll let you slide.

Kukua 5

Friday 1 March 2013 10:53

Smiley was correct. You would say "I am on suspension", so therefore you would also say "My son and I are on suspension".

XDsmileyDX_fml 24

Friday 1 March 2013 19:55

#35, Why did I get down voted if I was right? Do people not appreciate grammar nazi's around here?

TiddleyMoney 7

Friday 1 March 2013 7:22

Well... now you can laugh about your suspensions and bond!

hazardmuffin 21

Friday 1 March 2013 7:30

Should have either explained the situation to your boss instead of sneak out, or left the kid to wait until you got off work/the school day ended.

BreannaLeeRenee 18

Friday 1 March 2013 7:53

like everyone else already mentioned, why wouldn't you just tell your boss? I'm sure he would understand your sons a retard. like father like son. or mother. whatever you are.