Kids: Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs... - FML

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 04:44 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 857

You deserved it 2 518

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Same thing different taste

By hfs palm - 21/06/2015 21:37 - United States

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 642

You deserved it 2 547

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 21:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 104

You deserved it 1 874

You're under arrest

By poo_shoe123 - 31/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 613

You deserved it 10 232

By bail? - 29/08/2019 23:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 178

Gun control

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 10:59

Today, I took my 15-year-old daughter to our local shooting range for her birthday, as she requested. While she was setting up a target in front of me, I jokingly pulled the trigger and shouted, "Think Fast!" not realizing that the safety was off. I shot my daughter in the arm on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 4 322

Don't be a dingdong

By Steve - 03/04/2021 21:59 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter's boyfriend came to the house to pick her up. As a responsible father, I had an evil plan to torture the boy who dares date my girl, but my wife preempted my plan so during his short visit, she stood behind me the whole time with her taser down my buttcrack in case I acted up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 2 722

By justgreat - 28/09/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 078

You deserved it 3 415

Never try this at home

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 13:00 - United States - Grass Valley

Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 133

Boundaries, dude!

By JoeBidenIsMyFIL - 02/03/2020 18:00

Today, I had to physically restrain my girlfriend from assaulting my father after he drunkenly poked her in the ribs for the fifth time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 367

By alealovespurple - 16/08/2009 20:04 - Canada

Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 859

You deserved it 17 226

Next

Top comments

FYLDeep 25

Monday 30 April 2012 11:35

Where'd you take her? To the police station, or to the local sex shop where you and me both know those handcuffs came from?...

jideare 3

Monday 30 April 2012 11:39

Placed handcuffs on her "as a joke"? Good cover!?

Comments

kinkyfemboislut 6

Monday 30 April 2012 18:39

In any case I'd be concerned about why he put hand cuffs on her... cos there ain't no good reasons, and one of them is illegal, the other, is that and is just plan wrong.

misterjez 15

Monday 30 April 2012 18:43

Sounds like she has daddy issues lol.

PhilMcHawk 7

Monday 30 April 2012 20:57

Jesus. You can break out of standard handcuffs with a Uniball brand pen. Take the metal pocket clip off the pen's cap, use it as a shim, and slide it into the handcuffs in between where the "teeth" of the cuffs meet the channel they go into to lock.

angelofsaturn 23

Tuesday 1 May 2012 1:53

#78 I think I saw that on an ep of MANswers.

shutupanddance 0

Monday 30 April 2012 21:23

Nice to know I'm not the only one here with a dirty mind...

kirsten_khloe 0

Monday 30 April 2012 22:22

Awkward moment..

TwiztedYuri 9

Monday 30 April 2012 23:19

I wonder what he gave your daughter to keep her quiet. OP need to watch this man very carefully... I foresee another pedobear attack on your daughter.

imjaninja 0

Tuesday 1 May 2012 1:10

Wait, u took ur daughter, because her father put handcuffs on her? This makes no sense, she has 2 fathers?

imjaninja 0

Tuesday 1 May 2012 1:12

Wait I just realised it's the mum posting, my bad I'm an idiot lol

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 1 May 2012 1:43

Phreaky Father!

wellthatsukx 0

Tuesday 1 May 2012 9:43

YDI. Why didn't you just use a bobby pin?

tt7703ok 3

Wednesday 2 May 2012 5:44

Uhhh wtf hmmm it sounds like they were trying 2 have some fun "sex"

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 121

Today, my boyfriend texted me a video of him having sex with a girlfriend he was screwing before we met. He thought it would turn me on; instead I am completely repulsed, and it will probably will haunt me for the remainder of our relationship. FML

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You deserved it 239

The Top

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You deserved it 3 782

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I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 2 777

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I agree, your life sucks 39 611

You deserved it 6 598

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I agree, your life sucks 32 070

You deserved it 4 428

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I agree, your life sucks 22 100

You deserved it 1 779

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I agree, your life sucks 4 252

You deserved it 402