Work: Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my...

By mareecasellafml - 27/03/2015 09:51 - Australia - Belrose

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 436

You deserved it 4 251

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Same thing different taste

By waitingformyfoodstamps - 24/01/2009 10:50 - United States

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 117

You deserved it 8 397

Forwarded

By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 16:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 281

You deserved it 7 762

By nojob - 07/05/2009 19:15 - Canada

Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 154

You deserved it 4 474

By babyfatt - 16/12/2009 08:23 - Australia

Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 619

You deserved it 27 223

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 10:52 - Australia

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 919

You deserved it 7 785

By Jobless - 13/08/2009 01:47 - United States

Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 984

You deserved it 4 356

Hey you

By pappy - 03/05/2019 13:00 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 963

You deserved it 321

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 740

You deserved it 32 291

Surprise

By iamnotfat - 06/02/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 802

You deserved it 4 500

By I'm a joke? - 30/05/2013 05:37

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 649

You deserved it 4 182

ohjoy15 33

Friday 27 March 2015 16:51

Proofread. Can never do it too many times.

cutycat136 28

Friday 27 March 2015 16:53

Make him stand on the side of the road with a big sign that reads 'I messed up my girls resumes and wrote on them that she had a dick. I am the dick'

Comments

UmmOkThen 31

Friday 27 March 2015 16:56

Maybe it's time to have a talk about maturity.

wakemeupplease 21

Friday 27 March 2015 16:56

hmm what a lovely bf

whassallt26 13

Friday 27 March 2015 17:01

It's quite funny, and I'm sure that it's fairly obvious that someone else wrote this to employers, not much harm done

sirrubberduckie 35

Friday 27 March 2015 17:34

Yeah, right. I can virtually guarantee that no one will hire her based on that résumé.

meli1195 31

Friday 27 March 2015 17:35

when it comes to jobs, they won't put up with this kind of stuff. if they see something like this on your resume they won't even think about hiring you. so yes there is some harm done

Zebediabolical 39

Friday 27 March 2015 17:48

If you know the employer personally you /might/ be able to turn this around. If not, good luck with that.

HeadlessSparrow 20

Friday 27 March 2015 17:05

At least the employer was kind enough to call you about that, so you can change it before sending out anymore resumes.. I hope you find a job soon!

weveallbeenthere 30

Friday 27 March 2015 17:06

And this is why you proofread everything over and over again

lexwilder 16

Friday 27 March 2015 17:11

he would no longer be my boyfriend.

Miss_Syntax 15

Friday 27 March 2015 17:16

That was immature of him

ratorr2 23

Friday 27 March 2015 17:29

I hate practical jokes. Someone always ends up getting hurt. You just wasted your time and 20 potential employers because he "thought it would be hilarious". I think your dick of a bf needs to either grow up or get out.

heryseshta 9

Friday 27 March 2015 17:35

I can't say I would want to be with someone who was either so stupid they couldn't figure out when a joke goes too far or just flat out doesn't care. It could also be be is controlling and trying to prevent you from working.