Kids: Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street....

By failbaby - 02/06/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 558

You deserved it 24 214

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Same thing different taste

Baby steps

By Anonymous - 24/08/2018 13:00

Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 2 831

Smooth delivery

By Evol1nOC - 11/01/2022 22:59

Today, I was found out when I was a baby, I was abandoned in a dumpster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 348

You deserved it 159

Get back here!

By ireallylikecats - 22/04/2015 13:31 - United States

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 305

You deserved it 2 600

Abandoned

By Anonymous - 04/04/2020 05:00

Today, I found a baby in a cradle on my doorstep. I was shocked that someone would do this, so I picked it up and uncovered the baby. It was actually a rudimentary stink bomb that went off in my face when I uncovered it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 189

You deserved it 256

Good samaritan

By Anonymous - 09/10/2010 23:32 - Antigua and Barbuda

Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 301

You deserved it 9 441

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 609

You deserved it 3 176

Bad boy

By tatortot7707 - 13/01/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 013

You deserved it 3 817

By loueb17 - 15/02/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 187

You deserved it 9 732

Hobbies

By Stinkycar - 05/06/2017 12:00

Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 675

You deserved it 544

By jshi8 - 04/08/2011 14:35 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 850

You deserved it 79 905

Aelaena 6

Tuesday 2 June 2009 12:05

You should have looked inside because if there really was a baby I would have went straight in, not wait for the cops.

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 2 June 2009 12:10

You should've checked mate, but your heart's in the right place. I think. If it was a real baby, it could've died between the time you heard it and the time the police came in.

Comments

Jem0_0 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:01

Police respond to reports of an infant spotted in a dumpster. Upon investigation, officers discover it was only a burrito.

24788 6

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:01

Wow you deserve it.

waxstigmata 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:09

so you let the "baby" sit in the dumpster the whole time you called and waited for 911?

Jmlova21 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:10

Atleast you tried to help :)..!

AB_fml 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:16

Well you did the right thing. You must feel stupid though, but I'm sure we all know how that feels.

AB_fml 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:16

Well you did the right thing. You must feel stupid though, but I'm sure we all know how that feels.

ohhhhshizzz 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:20

I WILL SAY THIS ONE MORE ******* TIME. YOU CAN'T GO INTO THE DUMPSTER IF THE BABY IS BURIED UNDER DEBRIS, IT CAN KILL THE BABY YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IT AND STEP ON IT ACCIDENTALLY. gosh, sorry for the caps but this has been over. #191: They were talking about NOT stabbing or smothering the BABY, not themselves. asshat.