Miscellaneous: Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker....

By Keastwood013 - 18/01/2013 15:25 - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 785

You deserved it 4 167

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Same thing different taste

By Wutdafuqq - 23/02/2015 20:18 - Canada - Kanata

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 822

You deserved it 3 267

By Anonymous - 09/12/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was going into an office building. There was a boy and a man ahead of me, and the boy held the door open for me. Surprised, I said "What a nice young man," and he said. "It's ok, ma'am; my dad says to always hold the doors open for old ladies." I'm 43. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 655

You deserved it 6 335

Whoops

By Anonymous - 28/09/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 751

You deserved it 36 063

By Greg - 28/10/2013 21:53 - United States - Livonia

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 220

You deserved it 3 282

Such a gentleman

By Harry123 - 01/09/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I was trying to be polite by holding the door for an elderly lady in a shop. What I didn’t realise was that the doors were automatic. I ended up standing there awkwardly for a good 5 seconds, holding onto thin air, while she just smiled and walked by. A bloke behind me said, “The doors don’t need your help, mate.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 378

By Anonymous - 11/05/2010 15:04 - Netherlands

Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 767

You deserved it 5 713

Alexa, play "Mr Loverman" by Shabba Ranks

By Anonymous - 15/03/2020 18:07

Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 1 129

Flattered

By Creeped out - 28/01/2013 08:14 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 203

You deserved it 3 710

By GreenMonstR - 25/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 230

You deserved it 4 773

By appropriatepolice - 16/01/2012 08:19 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 848

You deserved it 13 707

Coop817 19

Friday 18 January 2013 18:50

Hmm weird. That usually works.

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

Friday 18 January 2013 18:50

I smell a challenge.

Comments

Werken247 14

Friday 18 January 2013 19:24

Give her a bottle of Geritol, let her know you mean business!

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 18 January 2013 19:24

Tell her there's probably room for you and the friends you'd want to invite along.

The_Thinker 18

Friday 18 January 2013 19:29

You've let her through the door. Now you can work on letting the D through her.

itsallbullshit 4

Friday 18 January 2013 19:30

Kids today! Oh, wait...

kaycol 8

Friday 18 January 2013 19:52

Should of asked her how you could then

xRezSynn 15

Friday 18 January 2013 19:53

Werken247 14

Friday 18 January 2013 19:59

pee

twiztedone 19

Friday 18 January 2013 20:01

Granny's still getting it!! Lol! Sorry op! Hopefully you just laughed at it!

PenguinBitch 43

Friday 18 January 2013 20:35

Enlighten us how Noor? How do you get grandma's cookie?

joe502 3

Friday 18 January 2013 20:50

Smooth talker Betty Crocker...

iTag_Skorn 4

Friday 18 January 2013 20:54

Ewwwwww!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 080

The Top

Today, my fiancée suggested a 'Back To The Future' - themed wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 302

You deserved it 402

Today, I overheard the girl I like tell her friends about me, “I like his personality a lot, it would be so sexy if he was taller. He’s adorable though.” I’m just below average height for a man. I wouldn’t even consider myself super short. I hate being 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 91

Today, my boyfriend and I had the worst fight of our relationship, and I’m not sure we’re going to make it. Why? Because out of all his hobbies and interests that I’ve happily joined in on, I said I had no interest in Harry Potter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 402

Today, I booked my holiday flights. There's 700 miles between the small country I live in and the family I'm visiting, normally one 3-hour flight. Thanks to hurricanes Irma and Maria, the only available route traverses 1700 miles and will take 26 continuous hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 421

You deserved it 317

Today, l grounded my 17-year-old son from his computer because of his terrible attitude towards his homework. As payback, he convinced my 5-year-old daughter that if she goes to sleep, she'll never wake up. I now have a hysterical and sleepless child to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 718

You deserved it 8 674

Today, after thinking only dogs needed chew-toys, I learned my lesson after my kittens ate my menstrual cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 364