1. Hey, that girl fell down the stairs but I didn't get to have sex, **** my life! Seriously dude? -.- 2. Your cat isn't an "asshat" but probably extremely bored from the sound of it. Is it your only cat or very young while your other cat/cats are alot older? Because ALOT of people who complain about their cat doing things they don't like are actually just shitty owners who didn't read up on cat behaviour before getting one. Because newsflash, cats don't entertain themselves 24/7 and usually need a buddy their age (littermates are best) and a human who takes time out of their day to play/cuddle with them.

Screw her life! You sound like a prick, whining about not getting laid when she actually got hurt.

She fell down a flight of stairs and dislocated her ankle but god forbid you don't get any action

I guess the cat believed that there's only one pussy in your house

You sound like a selfish asshole. All you're worried about is scoring and somehow you expect us to feel bad for you because she hurt herself and couldn't give you any. You're a dick towel.

Maybe God sent that cat to attack to stop you from getting the clap...

Dude, with that attitude I can't imagine you're the most attentive of partners in bed, she should be thanking your cat. Also are you sure it was solely your cat's fault, was she very drunk too? Because in my experience drunk girl's ankles and stairs do not mix.

Cats are such assholes :(

If this FML is any indication at all of how you are as a person then I figured out why you can't get laid.

They are in Alaska so that was his only shot with a female in 20 miles, drunk Eskimo fall down flight of stairs,,