Intimacy: Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to...

By galen - 03/06/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 024

You deserved it 27 729

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Same thing different taste

RIP Beard

By captain patch beard - 03/10/2019 18:01

Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 121

You deserved it 442

By Anonymous - 09/11/2015 00:18 - Netherlands

Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 252

You deserved it 3 177

By Anonymous - 04/09/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 294

You deserved it 6 391

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:13 - United States

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 429

You deserved it 9 059

By checkup - 15/07/2012 00:50 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 310

You deserved it 5 081

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 042

You deserved it 5 426

Get away from me

By Jinthebar - 06/05/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 150

You deserved it 7 960

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 636

You deserved it 31 360

By Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 132

You deserved it 6 252

By humiliated - 26/02/2010 10:21 - United States

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time. Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 898

You deserved it 4 042

kellster 2

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:05

Either she was a tranny, or you're really exaggerating. You do know that people have body hair, right? As in, the tiny, fuzzy kind? You'd probably better get over that pretty soon or you'll never have sex again.

icanhazlizard 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:21

I agree with 3 and 6. Hair is a natural part of being human. The girls are already expected to shave way more of their bodies than men have to be socially acceptable. I'm sick of hearing about how the hair on girls is disgusting. We shouldn't be rejected or made to go through ridiculously elaborate and time-consuming grooming routines because of it. It's *natural*. Get the **** over it.

Comments

rayy1219 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 20:17

spillproof 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 20:20

It might not have been a real women. If it was, it will make a great story for the children.

xkonstantine125x 7

Wednesday 3 June 2009 20:29

LMAO..I feel your pain.. My first love and I after 5 years of an on and off relationship finally were getting down to business when I went to her boobs with my tongue I felt a hair..but this was kind of long... My happy place died a bit.

xkonstantine125x 7

Wednesday 3 June 2009 20:33

I don't mind hair. We're mammals..but if theres a single hair..take it off! Yes there are people who like some hair.. not me and she knew it.. apparently she didnt know we were going to have sex.. I did.. I'm a dyke and I was shaved.

Darkenwrath 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 20:34

#120/#27 hey if you don;t get it, and you're gay, don;t go looking like a straight retard a post something wondering how people can like something. I'm straight but I don;t go posting omg how can you like dicks?! You're pretty retarded if you didn't get that breast licking may be a straight preference.

treli1593 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 20:36

imagine how she felt when she felt your tongue on her hairs. FHL too

caryatid 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 20:40

Sigh... okay, time for some basic physiology. As many have stated, mammals have hair. Plenty of women have long, wiry hairs in places that aren't armpits. Think of grandma's "chin hairs", they can also occur on the face, neck, chest, and stomach. An abundance of hair may be linked to higher levels of testosterone (in which case she probably has a high sex-drive) but long thick hairs can occur even when hormones levels fall in the usual ranges. As for why a woman might not choose to depilate despite societal pressure, there are all the reasons mentioned above, and it would also make an awesome squeamishness / misogyny tester. She might even shave it when she's dating someone, but figures "why bother?" when it's just one-night stands with last-call losers.

wut_fml 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 20:41

#89 - Laser hair removal is expensive and requires MANY sessions over the course of several months. The procedures are also painful. It's not as simple as you think. All people have hair - it serves a purpose. And people of different ethnicities have different amounts of hair. Get over it.

MNDUBBER 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 20:43

It's not that guys don't want girls to have no hair at all, don't be ridiculous people... ...you need to have a full head of long hair so that we have something to grab a hold of while we're riding you from the back. But ditch the hairy ****. Sick.