Miscellaneous: Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting...

By Anonymous - 30/08/2010 10:34 - Oman

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 386

You deserved it 37 309

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Same thing different taste

By alliez108 - 18/11/2011 00:50 - United States

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 908

You deserved it 7 746

By Connor - 25/12/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 061

You deserved it 2 650

By wintersoldier - 14/07/2015 02:36 - Austria

Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 056

You deserved it 2 378

By BlazefireSaber - 07/07/2015 03:59 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 531

You deserved it 2 995

By Disappointed - 31/10/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 491

You deserved it 9 821

By ROLLY - 03/03/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 542

You deserved it 3 923

By Anonymous - 21/08/2011 19:48 - United States

Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 576

You deserved it 3 411

You went too far

By Dia - 02/05/2021 05:01

Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 2 233

Patsy

By Anonymous - 28/04/2022 12:00

Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 174

By toothbreaker - 21/08/2019 16:00

Today, I was wrestling with my boyfriend when I accidentally kneed him in the chin and chipped his front tooth. I broke his real tooth, as well as the fake part from when he chipped it ten years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 555

You deserved it 280

perdix 29

Monday 30 August 2010 16:07

You, sir, are a wimp. I'm not sure you are ready for solid food -- ask Momma to pop out her titty for you.

remy3106 10

Monday 30 August 2010 16:03

u must have really wanted that cookie?!

Comments

tellmeastoryplz4 0

Monday 30 August 2010 18:37

wow your bro is 12 years younger than you and he won! haha! pwned!

omgtacos 0

Monday 30 August 2010 18:45

Your profile picture matches your comment.

Schizomaniac 24

Monday 30 August 2010 18:48

He's a genius..

Johnny6speed2 0

Monday 30 August 2010 18:49

I can see the posting on MLIA. Today I totally kicked my older brothers ass for a cookie. Im 14. He's 26. MLIA

Ipreferbroccoli 0

Monday 30 August 2010 18:58

You should have eaten your veggies like your mummy told you.

xMissxMurderx 1

Monday 30 August 2010 19:14

ydi for letting him win! I would've fought harder for that cookie! lol

PolishBabyy 0

Monday 30 August 2010 19:20

r u lke an obese-cookie-steeling-lozer???

jasonraces 0

Monday 30 August 2010 19:30

he looks like donny darko with less hair and wayy bigger, so in a since maybee not.. i bet he wouldnt have let him steal his cookie

packersalltheway 0

Monday 30 August 2010 19:38

****** kiddin me? here's some advice dint steal cookies from your kid brother you ******

joshH7 0

Monday 30 August 2010 20:11

this reminds of a jake and amir episode, amir eats jakes cookie then he kicks his ass! xD can anyone say immature?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after nearly a week of having laryngitis, I was finally able to talk a little again. Then I yelled at my son for leaving his shit all over the living room, strained my throat, and can barely even whisper now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 753

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 020

The Top

Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 455

You deserved it 916

Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 284

You deserved it 3 848

Today, I can’t sleep because the moon is full. No, wait, that’s actually the floodlight from the neighboring farm shining in my window. Apparently, they thought it a good idea to hook the thing up to a motion detector, so the cats and mice can play disco lights at midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 85

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 895

You deserved it 71 445

Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 872

You deserved it 2 593

Today, I finally got together with this great guy I've had a crush on for a while. He told me before that he is quite inexperienced, which usually doesn't bother me at all. Turns out "inexperienced" translates to "I will include your nose and chin in our kissing" in this case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 956

You deserved it 2 219

Same thing different taste

You went too far

Patsy

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