Intimacy: Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne,...

By fmylife7721 - 03/07/2011 05:51 - Canada

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 849

You deserved it 47 808

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Same thing different taste

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 02:02

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 262

By Anonymous - 14/10/2015 13:45 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 736

You deserved it 3 431

Freaked out

By allergyface - 16/12/2009 03:34 - Canada

Today, I was talking to my parents when all of a sudden my dad started freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is that he was dead serious the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 612

You deserved it 2 483

By Disappointed - 04/10/2014 03:08

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying, "It's for my acne." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 802

You deserved it 5 127

By EpicFail - 11/01/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, a woman at the crowded mall stopped me and told me loudly that if I bought her product it would get rid of my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 857

You deserved it 2 374

By Acne_problems - 22/02/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 268

By nybaby - 29/11/2010 21:17 - United States

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 458

You deserved it 3 938

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 872

You deserved it 8 703

By vegas-81 - 10/02/2014 03:39 - France

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 653

You deserved it 16 469

By collball22 - 22/08/2011 04:58 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend and I said that I was self-conscious of my acne. He told me that only one of my zits was noticeable and that it wasn't so bad. In fact he said it looked cool, like a bullet wound or something "awesome" like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 418

You deserved it 5 409

JDFromSac 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 19:21

stop putting cum on your face then

iAmScrubs 19

Sunday 3 July 2011 19:22

At least you can start your own business now. Proactiv 2: Ingredients Unknown.

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 3 July 2011 23:59

Things don't always turn out the way you expect. Be careful she doesn't get her girlfriends to come over and hook you up to a milk machine.

sxe_beast 11

Monday 4 July 2011 0:17

I don't believe in Jesus.

zdub5187 0

Monday 4 July 2011 0:25

Tried it, it doesn't work.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 4 July 2011 3:24

I think he was hoping for "open mouth, insert dick".

JesusFishTaco 5

Monday 4 July 2011 0:27

173-I don't believe in the boogey man.

momo1972 3

Monday 4 July 2011 0:39

open mouth insert foot

Eiregal 7

Monday 4 July 2011 1:06

the scary thing is there are actual girls out there who are stupid enough to believe this!

slinginmac14 0

Monday 4 July 2011 1:13

backfire mutha ******. ydi

nateiztite 5

Monday 4 July 2011 1:19

guess she didn't get the hint you want to give her a facial??

sxe_beast 11

Monday 4 July 2011 1:40

Jesus is the boogeyman.

YacL 15

Monday 4 July 2011 2:14

You just said you don't believe in him.

Keywords

Love Party Lonely Awkward ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Cute Shopping Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 407

You deserved it 3 021

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 388

You deserved it 8 340

The Top

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 302

You deserved it 33 321

Today, as I was pulling into my driveway, I hit my fence. The same fence that I had repaired last week because I had run into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 641

You deserved it 41 439

Today, while working roadside assistance, I arrived to a bewildered client who couldn't find their spare tire. The vehicle in question was a Jeep. I pointed out the spare, but was corrected as "that's just for decoration." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 970

You deserved it 302

Today, my husband gave our son the sex talk. Maybe it’s because we never talk openly about it, but my husband is into some racy shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 963

Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 058

You deserved it 48 757

Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 072

You deserved it 2 515

Same thing different taste

Freaked out

Freaked out

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