Miscellaneous: Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered... - FML

By ledon - 16/11/2011 04:15 - Canada

Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 268

You deserved it 3 198

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By Anonymous - 21/03/2023 18:00

Today, my ex-roommate, who decided to move out when my other roommate and I told her we didn't want a giant dresser for her dogs' clothes and stuff in the dining room, took the door knob out of the door to her former bedroom and threw some of my things in the recycling bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 118

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 14:11

Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 198

By merrymary - 07/01/2012 11:11 - United States

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 738

You deserved it 6 053

By stillsick - 02/03/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 477

You deserved it 3 259

By ohnolunch - 05/03/2009 20:12 - United States

Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 741

You deserved it 15 975

Our house, is a very very very fine house

By Anonymous - 24/03/2021 17:00

Today, my housemate, who never cleans, cooked tacos, then left her dishes for the rest of the evening. When shown a bowl of murky water in the sink, she denied it was hers, prompting my vegetarian housemate to clean it. Putting her hand in the bowl, she found a lump of raw taco meat. Yum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 169

Pyrotechnics

By Homeless for the holidays - 13/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Farmington

Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 149

By roomatewoes - 01/04/2013 00:45 - United States - Northfield

Today, I came back to my dorm to find my roommate forgot to get rid of her massive amounts of cheese before break. She did, however, remember to unplug the refrigerator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 709

You deserved it 2 114

By Anonymous - 30/09/2011 15:12 - Canada

Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that included the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 401

You deserved it 3 012

By carnivore - 22/09/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 626

You deserved it 5 908

Next

Top comments

enonymous 8

Wednesday 16 November 2011 9:07

It's like Easter egg hunt with meat!! Measter!

Im2Handsom 1

Wednesday 16 November 2011 9:12

Shove a potato in her muffler.

Comments

terrask 11

Wednesday 16 November 2011 15:26

YDI.........why? **** sapiens would know not to anger the beast when it lays in his lair!

mamabear2011 5

Wednesday 16 November 2011 17:09

sounds like she wasnt much of a meat lover

DeafWolverine 8

Wednesday 16 November 2011 17:34

EET MOR CHIKIN

Lokizzle 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 18:00

I thought of chandlers crazy roommate from friends. "but if you think for one second that I'm leaving you alone with my fish you are insane, jack!"

itsdamojo 11

Wednesday 16 November 2011 18:02

Its her way of saying "No problemo"

hateevryone 14

Wednesday 16 November 2011 18:21

maybe you should have left instead

Holy_ish 19

Wednesday 16 November 2011 18:21

Damn she is crazy! I mean really? Who the hell does that?

sarahmcgeee 5

Wednesday 16 November 2011 19:26

I feel like there is more to that story..

Okayitwasme 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 19:45

She wasn't crazy.... Just mean spirited. That's worse than crazy. I have a sibling like that. Burned an adopted family member's pictures behind the house so our mom wouldn't put them up with her other grand kids pictures.

weepingangel_fml 7

Wednesday 16 November 2011 20:53

Well now you can't make hamburgers. Bummer.

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The Top

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 492

You deserved it 3 817

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 138

The Top

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 309

You deserved it 5 309

Today, I went back to work after a horrible bout of respiratory illness. After a few hours of using hot tea, cough drops, and tissues to deal with my lingering cough, I found out that my asshole coworker has filed a formal complaint about me disrupting her concentration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 099

You deserved it 4 285

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 428

You deserved it 51 102

Today, I'm working a photography gig for a very prominent metal band. The doorman asked me for my I.D, which I happily obliged. I am 27, however I look like I'm still in my mid to late teens. He will not let me in, even with my I.D, and the band that hired me won't answer their phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 116

You deserved it 209

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 564

You deserved it 3 499

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 601

You deserved it 44 220