Miscellaneous: Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered... - FML

By ledon - 16/11/2011 04:15 - Canada

Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 266

You deserved it 3 197

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By Anonymous - 21/03/2023 18:00

Today, my ex-roommate, who decided to move out when my other roommate and I told her we didn't want a giant dresser for her dogs' clothes and stuff in the dining room, took the door knob out of the door to her former bedroom and threw some of my things in the recycling bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 118

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 14:11

Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 198

By merrymary - 07/01/2012 11:11 - United States

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 736

You deserved it 6 053

By stillsick - 02/03/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 473

You deserved it 3 259

By ohnolunch - 05/03/2009 20:12 - United States

Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 741

You deserved it 15 973

Our house, is a very very very fine house

By Anonymous - 24/03/2021 17:00

Today, my housemate, who never cleans, cooked tacos, then left her dishes for the rest of the evening. When shown a bowl of murky water in the sink, she denied it was hers, prompting my vegetarian housemate to clean it. Putting her hand in the bowl, she found a lump of raw taco meat. Yum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 166

Pyrotechnics

By Homeless for the holidays - 13/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Farmington

Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 149

By roomatewoes - 01/04/2013 00:45 - United States - Northfield

Today, I came back to my dorm to find my roommate forgot to get rid of her massive amounts of cheese before break. She did, however, remember to unplug the refrigerator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 708

You deserved it 2 114

By Anonymous - 30/09/2011 15:12 - Canada

Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that included the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 398

You deserved it 3 012

By carnivore - 22/09/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 622

You deserved it 5 908

Next

Top comments

enonymous 8

Wednesday 16 November 2011 9:07

It's like Easter egg hunt with meat!! Measter!

Im2Handsom 1

Wednesday 16 November 2011 9:12

Shove a potato in her muffler.

Comments

MissyBoo13 0

Friday 18 November 2011 2:37

Not affensive

kate1238 9

Friday 18 November 2011 5:19

Reminds me of the movie roomate haha

nicolelynnn07 0

Friday 18 November 2011 8:52

hahahahah, this really just made my night! im sorry that happened to you, but this made me "LOL" for like 5 minutes, ha :)

Oabbey 2

Monday 21 November 2011 1:04

what a random form of revenge. It's not even clever.

antonia10 6

Tuesday 29 November 2011 0:39

wow.... if she won't move out, you definately should. Even though it is not fair, you totally don't want to be living with someone like that. How long before she tries to stuff you down the drain?

antonia10 6

Tuesday 29 November 2011 0:42

wow.... if she won't move out, you definately should. Even though it is not fair, you totally don't want to be living with someone like that. How long before she tries to stuff you down the drain?

Angelrae 5

Saturday 7 July 2012 5:47

wow!

cwl727 32

Monday 28 April 2014 22:34

why don't you just move out.

fantasyworld 37

Friday 19 December 2014 23:35

You don't kindly ask a crazy person to leave. You make them leave with threats of the police.

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The Top

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 701

You deserved it 3 898

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair, and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 271

You deserved it 30 148

The Top

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 607

You deserved it 2 704

Today, I learned never to try a jump-scare prank on my boyfriend. Apparently, his instinct when suddenly scared isn’t to jump or scream like a baby, it’s to throw a blind punch. Luckily, he missed but he broke my glasses by knocking them off my nose and now he won’t stop apologising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 1 811

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 080

You deserved it 1 125

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 094

You deserved it 4 085

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered sex toys online and had them delivered to my dorm room. I put my parents' address for the billing information because I didn't want the bill sent to my dorm after I moved out. The toys were sent to my parents house instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 563

You deserved it 78 348

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I get along with her mother just fine. Apparently, it’s not natural for a son-in-law and mother-in-law to get along this well, we should hate each other on principle, so liking each other just fine is somehow majorly suspicious and she can’t trust me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 121