Love: Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette.... - FML

By scotto - 23/02/2009 01:21 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 485

You deserved it 3 483

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 6 674

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 515

By Sir Smokalot - 24/09/2009 08:05 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 216

You deserved it 2 890

Fresh mints

By Julian - 22/12/2008 07:45 - France

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 200

You deserved it 44 960

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 07:35 - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 866

You deserved it 4 863

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 928

You deserved it 5 123

By thatsnice - 09/12/2014 21:19 - United States - Warwick

Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 097

You deserved it 4 286

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

The Taste of Love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 318

By leeceetaylor99 - 15/07/2013 16:47 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 883

You deserved it 3 896

Next

Top comments

poukey 0

Monday 23 February 2009 7:15

Second Hand Smoke Breath?

BoredomKills 0

Monday 23 February 2009 7:20

it doesn't have to be your roommate.

Comments

jsmith1199 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 20:49

#36.. yeah that makes it much better if it wasnt his roommate.. so its ok to cheat, as long as it isnt with his roommate? you must be a cheating bitch, along with almost every other ***** out there

spockezri 0

Monday 30 March 2009 2:18

If you've never smoked, how do you know what a cigarette tastes like?

Woop_Woop 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 15:14

where did it say that he never smoked, he could have in the past and even if he didnt smoke in the past most ppl do know what smoke smells like, you only have to be around someone who smokes to find out.

24788 6

Wednesday 29 April 2009 17:19

Ouch, you are pretty smart though.

SilenceOfTheLamb 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 3:33

i always hate roommates..

Rawrrr14 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 22:27

Busted. Go with your gut. I am so not looking forward to roommates. Do you still room with the guy?

polevaultlover22 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 7:53

did you confront her ? tell her to stop smoking and if its the worst situation.. uhm sorry dude

TheyCallMeStromz 0

Monday 11 May 2009 6:05

fool, how do u know what cigarettes taste like IF U DONT SMOKE

abbulldog1499 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 3:42

#9 you're a genius. #11 your just an idiot and you took it too far. Maybe you should stop being an idiot.

lastminuteperm 0

Friday 10 July 2009 7:06

This is SOOOO not an FML. It's basically like saying, "Today, I am getting second-hand smoke from my roomate."

lastminuteperm 0

Friday 10 July 2009 7:08

I get it now!

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The Top

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 826

You deserved it 54 997

Today, I saw a really cute guy in the grocery store. We made eye contact a few times and I was trying to work up the nerve to start a conversation. Instead, he screamed, "Yes, I know I’m fat, bitch. You don’t have to stare!” I got so many dirty looks I left immediately. I didn’t think he was fat. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 33 600

You deserved it 17 069

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 617

You deserved it 14 242

Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 554

Today, I seriously considered writing in SCP-106 for president. I hate both candidates so much, I would willingly take President Radical Larry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 780

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 750

You deserved it 6 803

Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 434

You deserved it 982