Love: Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette....

By scotto - 23/02/2009 01:21 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 472

You deserved it 3 481

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 910

You deserved it 6 673

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 663

You deserved it 9 506

By Sir Smokalot - 24/09/2009 08:05 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 214

You deserved it 2 889

Fresh mints

By Julian - 22/12/2008 07:45 - France

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 194

You deserved it 44 954

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 07:35 - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 844

You deserved it 4 862

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 916

You deserved it 5 117

By thatsnice - 09/12/2014 21:19 - United States - Warwick

Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 095

You deserved it 4 285

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 260

You deserved it 3 000

The Taste of Love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 488

You deserved it 311

By leeceetaylor99 - 15/07/2013 16:47 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 855

You deserved it 3 890

poukey 0

Monday 23 February 2009 7:15

Second Hand Smoke Breath?

BoredomKills 0

Monday 23 February 2009 7:20

it doesn't have to be your roommate.

Comments

stepup0220 0

Monday 28 December 2009 20:49

****.

chappypreston 0

Friday 8 October 2010 19:28

haha funny shit

mrmerino 0

Monday 6 December 2010 3:55

maybe YOU made out with your roommate!!!

albertaboy 7

Thursday 28 April 2011 0:30

She might have tried smoking maybe?

fadingfaith 4

Monday 9 May 2011 4:21

Maybe she smokes behind your back.

Mini_Pedobear 0

Friday 5 August 2011 7:08

so how do u know what it tastes like..

Dr_Jalepenos 0

Friday 2 September 2011 16:34

So using the transitive theory u kissed your guy roomate?

ifinsane 6

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:53

I'm sorry lieutenant Dan she Tasted like cigarets.

dhiran_singh 16

Thursday 1 December 2011 4:23

Oh noooo

scarthegoth13 3

Monday 9 April 2012 4:05

what a bitch! leave her

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The Top

Today, I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend that I wanted to be spoon-fed, affectionately NOT sexually. I think it's something to do with my eating, my parents, and developmental issues. Now he won't stop claiming it's really a fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 480

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 074

You deserved it 68 621

The Top

Today, I was giving a presentation at work but accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. I tried to dry it off, but it wouldn't turn on. I had to give the presentation awkwardly using my phone and everyone took the piss out of me and my shoddy performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 248

Today, a pretty girl joined the line at the bus station. I let her skip the line and go before me so I could sit next to her. After she bought her ticket, I realized there were no more seats left on that bus. I was told to get off, and had to take the next bus, sitting next to a snoring old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 353

You deserved it 13 447

Today, I’m being accused of groping and holding a drunk girl inappropriately at the party I hosted. I was literally holding her up, to prevent her from throwing up all over my floor and furniture. Her friends did a good job of just standing there, leaving me, a man, as the only one to help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 109

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 772

You deserved it 13 223

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask out my crush, only to find out that they're already in a committed relationship with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 154

Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 003

You deserved it 4 774

Same thing different taste

Fresh mints

Ewwwwwww

The Taste of Love

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