Miscellaneous: Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward...

By obsessed - 27/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 244

You deserved it 89 672

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Same thing different taste

Take it down!

By steven - 28/06/2009 15:53 - Cayman Islands

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 342

You deserved it 7 302

Give it to me

By Kait - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 473

You deserved it 3 584

Funny guy

By stillembarrassed - 06/08/2013 17:01 - United Kingdom

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 432

You deserved it 6 688

By Awkward Jeff - 26/05/2019 12:30

Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 788

By IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 169

You deserved it 6 976

By garage - 27/01/2010 06:21 - France

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 719

You deserved it 8 605

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 032

You deserved it 5 098

Tricked

By Puck - 26/09/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - 's-Hertogenbosch

Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 335

By clementine_k - 22/03/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 870

You deserved it 35 651

By sasha625 - 22/12/2018 14:00

Today, I was running late for work. My windshield had completely frozen over. I didn’t have anything to dissolve the ice..except some coffee I had made 30 minutes earlier. I decided to dump my coffee on my windshield. Instead of dissolving the ice, the creamer froze on entire windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 3 747

staymonkey 1

Friday 27 November 2009 12:46

thats pretty pathetic.

rexmaxus 0

Friday 27 November 2009 12:47

some people just need to be punched in the face. you are among them.

Comments

simmo8591 0

Friday 27 November 2009 14:07

oh dear.... why would kissing a window even me a good substitute for a fictional character? he has cold lips (presumably) but why not kiss an ice cube or a freezer or any other cold object? im pretty sure his lips arent supposed to be flat and slippery and so a piece of glass really doesnt seem like your best option

Broeman 0

Friday 27 November 2009 14:13

Wow, you are one ******* stupid twitard. How about next you have sex with a banana you stuck in the freezer?

Sionnach 10

Friday 27 November 2009 14:15

In defense of Twilight: Despite being a 25yo/m and not a little girl, I actually really like the books. The movies, though stupid, are pretty damn hilarious too. In defense of you... I got nothing. Seek help.

CheshireHalli 19

Friday 27 November 2009 17:59

Thank you. I like the books. But I would never do anything like this. This girl is STUPID. YDI, OP. Not all Twilight fans are stupid, little, rabid girls... lol

Sacrilege 0

Friday 27 November 2009 14:17

Twilight is a book and a movie; of which gives the real historical view of vampires a shitty, faggy name. Grow up.

monkeyspark 6

Friday 27 November 2009 14:17

For the good of humanity, I am going to have to kill you.

solocredere12 4

Friday 27 November 2009 14:18

You are an idiot. YDI

dloc1 0

Friday 27 November 2009 14:19

That is just plain retarded. Next time find a stiff then you can use the excuse it is a dead family member. ydi

missnightmare 0

Friday 27 November 2009 14:21

Lol, thats sad.

Buffel 0

Friday 27 November 2009 14:30

Wait, wait... I didn't know Edward was made of glass. I guess that would explain the sparkles. So I take it you're on the necrophilia end of the necrophilia/********** Twilight character attraction scale.