Miscellaneous: Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward...

By obsessed - 27/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 244

You deserved it 89 680

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

Take it down!

By steven - 28/06/2009 15:53 - Cayman Islands

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 348

You deserved it 7 307

Give it to me

By Kait - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 484

You deserved it 3 587

Funny guy

By stillembarrassed - 06/08/2013 17:01 - United Kingdom

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 440

You deserved it 6 688

By Awkward Jeff - 26/05/2019 12:30

Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 790

By IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 174

You deserved it 6 977

By garage - 27/01/2010 06:21 - France

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 722

You deserved it 8 606

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 036

You deserved it 5 101

Tricked

By Puck - 26/09/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - 's-Hertogenbosch

Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 338

By clementine_k - 22/03/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 878

You deserved it 35 652

By sasha625 - 22/12/2018 14:00

Today, I was running late for work. My windshield had completely frozen over. I didn’t have anything to dissolve the ice..except some coffee I had made 30 minutes earlier. I decided to dump my coffee on my windshield. Instead of dissolving the ice, the creamer froze on entire windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 3 753

staymonkey 1

Friday 27 November 2009 12:46

thats pretty pathetic.

rexmaxus 0

Friday 27 November 2009 12:47

some people just need to be punched in the face. you are among them.

Comments

lover6 0

Friday 27 November 2009 16:23

i think u r stupid.....go to a mental hospital, at least they MIGHT be able to help u!

shaniqualee 2

Friday 27 November 2009 16:24

Today, I took a popsicle and stuck it in my poop chute to find out what it would be like if Edward Cullen went to town in my brown. WIN. I'll choose a chocolate popsicle next time to know what it's like with the black vampire.

FMYLIFEd00ds 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 0:19

#101 Lol WIN

Lawlipop 3

Friday 27 November 2009 16:32

One would assume such a huuuuuge fan would at the very least know how to spell it.

patticake1601 0

Friday 27 November 2009 16:43

everybody take a pill and relax. Twilight made a crap load of money in its first weekend so obviously there a lot of people going to see the movie. I have neither read the books or seen the movie and I am not even interested in seeing the movie, I'm too old for that kinda crap, but from the sounds of this post, OP is a child, and from what I have seen lately on FML, it seems that kids and tweens are mainly on here now. Give her a break, I'm sure a lot of you were silly kids. And OP, how can tonguing a cold pane of glass be even remotely similar to kissing a dude!!!! Use an orange for craps sake!

iAndrea 0

Friday 27 November 2009 16:44

OP, I'm sure that more than half these people haven't read Twilight, so they clearly don't know what they're missing, haha. :) But that's kind of funny, I must admit. :]

dravthorn6669 0

Friday 27 November 2009 21:04

as someone who has read the books and wasted my time to see the first movie. yes i do know what im talking about. the books sucked and the movie was worse.

Stang4life 0

Friday 27 November 2009 16:44

the only reason I can think of that you would have even considered doing this is because you must be a fat lard who obssesses over stupid fake crap like this and expects everyone to live up to your standards because they need to b like Edward! get a life freak! YDI

jw90 18

Friday 27 November 2009 16:44

just kiss Robert pattinson and ull know exactly what it's like to kiss Edward Cullen.

pshnoway 0

Friday 27 November 2009 16:50

You are absolutely pathetic. People like you give our entire generation a bad name and you make me almost embarassed to be a teenage girl because that would mean that I have to be classified in the same group as you. I hope you die because there is honestly no hope in your future. No guy in his right mind would ever want an obsessive freak like you, but then again, that's better for us because you will never reproduce. I hope you go and get help because you really are sick and delusional.

JessTrek 0

Friday 27 November 2009 16:55

Agreed. OP, best to remove yourself from the gene pool now. Can't have little obsessive yous running around in the future. It would be a pandemic.

Jagger117 0

Friday 27 November 2009 16:59

pshnoway you are a ******* bitch. what right have you to judge her? you don't. especially considering you are so stuck up and vein, it's people like YOU who are ruining the human race and given the choice between the stuck up bitch that is you and th op, I would honestly choose her. I really hope you grow up before you reproduce. or at least have a horrible accident rendering you infertile.

pshnoway 0

Friday 27 November 2009 19:00

I like how you criticized me for judging the OP by judging me, really that didn't make you look like a hypocrite at all. Also, I would never date someone who is willing to defend a twitard anyways because there is no excuse for their ridiculous behaviour or your pathetic comeback. I hope next time you attack somebody, you can make yourself look less dumb while doing it.