Miscellaneous: Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward...

By obsessed - 27/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 244

You deserved it 89 680

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Same thing different taste

Take it down!

By steven - 28/06/2009 15:53 - Cayman Islands

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 348

You deserved it 7 307

Give it to me

By Kait - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 484

You deserved it 3 587

Funny guy

By stillembarrassed - 06/08/2013 17:01 - United Kingdom

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 440

You deserved it 6 688

By Awkward Jeff - 26/05/2019 12:30

Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 790

By IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 174

You deserved it 6 977

By garage - 27/01/2010 06:21 - France

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 722

You deserved it 8 606

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 036

You deserved it 5 101

Tricked

By Puck - 26/09/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - 's-Hertogenbosch

Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 338

By clementine_k - 22/03/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 878

You deserved it 35 652

By sasha625 - 22/12/2018 14:00

Today, I was running late for work. My windshield had completely frozen over. I didn’t have anything to dissolve the ice..except some coffee I had made 30 minutes earlier. I decided to dump my coffee on my windshield. Instead of dissolving the ice, the creamer froze on entire windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 3 753

staymonkey 1

Friday 27 November 2009 12:46

thats pretty pathetic.

rexmaxus 0

Friday 27 November 2009 12:47

some people just need to be punched in the face. you are among them.

Comments

hatcher 0

Friday 27 November 2009 15:48

I don't know if you've noticed, sweetheart, but Edward Cullen isn't real. Let's not even get into whether or not he's a proper vampire thingie... he's a straight up fictional character. Kissing a window is just going to show you what kissing a window is like. Why not actually go... date a real dude? You might get lucky and find one that treats you like a real person as opposed to that shitty emotionally abusive stalking thing Edward does in the book. Why are vampires all after underaged girls? I guess when you're immortal you don't HAVE to worry about statutory rape laws.

chinchy97 0

Friday 27 November 2009 15:48

LOLZ....maybe instead of Windex, your neighbour shouldve bought you Edward Cullen ..!

haj_fml 4

Friday 27 November 2009 15:53

No.

theta_fml 0

Friday 27 November 2009 16:00

This comment is nearly as big of an epic fail as the original post. Just don't talk anymore. At the OP, your life is really ****** up and you should probably grow up and stop fantasizing over a retarded fictional character. And even if you do, do not post it on the Internet, because we will make fun of you.

blastvortex 3

Friday 27 November 2009 15:58

Blast, we're gonna be hearing mindless pap about Twilight for the rest of the year, huh.... Perhaps your neighbor could buy you a life. That's what it sounds like you really need.

Envy_fml 0

Friday 27 November 2009 16:01

#13. Your lips don't stick to glass. Metal, yes. Glass, no. #63. Yes, because everyone lives where you live. There's certainly been plenty of ice where I'm from.

AndelleRae 9

Friday 27 November 2009 16:03

@ 13: No, her lips would not stick to an iced over window. The ice would melt too fast from the heat of her mouth to do any damage. @ 63: I don't know where you live, (if you live in Iowa like the OP, then my point is moot, and I apologize) but there have been plenty of cold mornings here where there has been frost on the grass and windows. I'm not really defending this FML though. This really is kind of pathetic. Why would you want to waste your time pretending to kiss a (made up) borderline abusive stalker?