Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that in my family, 'Father's Day' is more like...

By Sam - 20/06/2010 13:18 - France

Today, I learned that in my family, 'Father's Day' is more like 'Father's drunken, piss on a plant in the kitchen during breakfast, order you to scrub in between his toes with your toothbrush Day.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 045

You deserved it 3 760

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Same thing different taste

By Z - 09/04/2011 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 461

You deserved it 3 036

This is fine

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 90

Lovely parents

By sigh - 18/11/2019 01:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my parents forgot it was my birthday. They ordered me to scrub the common bathroom, and when I asked if they remembered, my dad's reaction was "Oh! Really?" My mom's was "I thought that it was next week." What lovely parents I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 337

You deserved it 201

Latergram

By Anonymous - 21/06/2023 10:00

Today, I made it halfway through saying "Happy Father's Day" before he interrupted to send me to do an unimportant chore. When I finished, he’d opened the beer I'd bought him, despite it being 7:30am, but he was convinced it was a bribe because I wanted something from him. I don’t know why I bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 106

By Anon - 29/09/2015 03:18 - Canada - Calgary

Today, at 8:00am, I walked into the kitchen and stubbed my toe. That's quite a normal occurrence, but this time, I stubbed it on my drunk, passed out, 53-year-old father's forehead. He's mad at me now and has cancelled my allowance. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 096

You deserved it 9 053

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 730

You deserved it 5 791

FOMO

By Brian - 18/06/2024 05:00 - United States - Prospect

Today, it's Fathers Day. Both of my adult daughters called me… from their stepfather's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 165

By Forgotten - 06/09/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 697

You deserved it 4 077

Bad guest

By Unknown - 23/12/2014 18:25 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I learned to never invite my father to a wedding. He'll show up late, complain about the food, piss on a tree, and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 685

You deserved it 3 050

Backfire

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 175

You deserved it 54 769

SyraSid5 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:08

use his toothbrush instead, he's probably to drunk to even notice, and then tell him when he is sober!

emopinback 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:07

i wish i had a father but now i dont want one

Comments

firstdbzmaker 15

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:20

******* fathers... jkjk <3 :)

CurseYourLove 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:21

ooh i love that holiday too! jkjk fyl OP

aback 4

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:23

If he's drunk enough he won't know that it's his toothbrush.

Miko159 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:27

That sounded awesome! that's one hell of a father when drunk.

teamsleep22 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:27

fag

SyraSid5 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:28

like I said 20! :)

aback 4

Sunday 20 June 2010 23:51

So you did! Great minds think alike.

starpowerr 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:30

fyl I'm sorry

CalGirl1990 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:37

favorited, this is too funny

f_alltheirlives 3

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:42

That is my favorite day of the year

HeyMina 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:43

Omfg. I love your dad. The last time my dad was drunk we talked about what we're going to name our dog. Lame. :(

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The Top

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat, and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 709

You deserved it 19 159

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 435

You deserved it 30 648

The Top

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year-old daughter out to eat. Halfway through our "date" she asks me loudly, "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 823

You deserved it 3 223

Today, I get the feeling my wife is mad at me. I have no evidence to support this, except she ran me a bath with a bath bomb and a shit load of chilli powder, so like I say, no hard evidence except the excruciating burning in my asshole, peehole, ballsack, nostril and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 205

Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 400

You deserved it 2 615

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 484

You deserved it 3 607

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 163

You deserved it 3 660

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 413

You deserved it 3 183