Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking,...

By Anonymous - 20/11/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 561

You deserved it 4 212

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Gross out

By Ewt - 06/12/2019 05:00 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I found out that my best friend doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom, even if she changes her pad. I then remembered all the times she's handed food to me, and teased me when I tried to wash my hands first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 336

You deserved it 196

By msjustine - 06/05/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 960

You deserved it 13 378

Negotiations

By Anonymous - 22/09/2020 17:01

Today, I had to tell my 28-year-old roommate she needs to wash her hands after using the bathroom. She then said she’d try, as long as I try to put my dishes in the dishwasher. Those aren’t even on the same level. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 961

Scrubber

By 4_and_20_blackbits - 26/08/2013 08:38 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 589

You deserved it 4 005

Keep it clean

By germy germs - 01/07/2021 19:01 - United States

Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 249

Our house, is a very very very fine house

By Anonymous - 24/03/2021 17:00

Today, my housemate, who never cleans, cooked tacos, then left her dishes for the rest of the evening. When shown a bowl of murky water in the sink, she denied it was hers, prompting my vegetarian housemate to clean it. Putting her hand in the bowl, she found a lump of raw taco meat. Yum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 166

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 00:17 - Israel

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 431

You deserved it 3 723

Seasons greetings to you too

By leanne - 16/12/2020 17:58 - United States - Denver

Today, I said hi to my coworker and she immediately yelled, "Get your gross unwashed hands out of my face!" I wash my hands compulsively and they were nowhere near her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 96

By Anonymous - 07/06/2016 19:27 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, my coworker cornered me in the office bathroom and insisted that, because she's been watching me, I use the bathroom too quickly and must not be washing my hands, and that I have to wash them from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 296

You deserved it 1 241

By youredisgusting - 03/10/2014 07:00 - United States - Merced

Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 063

You deserved it 2 729

WinterPerfection 3

Monday 21 November 2011 0:46

I can just TASTE the disease!

SkardeyKat 3

Monday 21 November 2011 0:47

Well, according to her logic, your immune system is being boosted as well. I believe a thank you is in order, she's pumping up your system to defend against super-bugs!

Comments

Calyx_fml 21

Monday 21 November 2011 21:37

It boosts yours too. Next time cook for her after cleaning the cat box.

raphanne_fml 33

Tuesday 22 November 2011 2:12

"My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath."

jroxursox1 10

Tuesday 22 November 2011 5:11

That's just....... Lovely. :P

jroxursox1 10

Tuesday 22 November 2011 5:13

Ok. I don't care if it'll boost anyone's immune system I don't want her ass wipe hands touching my food.

jmad29 2

Tuesday 22 November 2011 8:47

Yup! And dogs mouths magically clean their own wounds too!!

GTAmerc 2

Tuesday 22 November 2011 10:18

It's true!

PhilipNotMacedon 3

Wednesday 23 November 2011 17:13

Indeed it is. A large part of the massive increase of auto-immune diseases, allergies and asthma is because people, especially children, aren't brought in contact with enough bacterial and viral infections. (google it if you doubt me).

Georgia13 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 15:43

Hahaha just inject her with AIDs bliss and say you were "helping boost her immune system!" :)

tyrrell030491 7

Friday 25 November 2011 15:21

Kinda true, depends on what exactly she's been doing with her hands... "You eat a tonne of sh*t before you die"

MissKittie 3

Sunday 15 January 2012 4:52

As long as she doesn;t go to the toilet or something just before cooking, who really gives a shit? It's not going to kill you.... I'll bet you don't washyour hands every time you touch money, which actually has more germs than the average toilet... so does underneath your fingernails, which I bet you chew. Wipe the sand out of your ******, princess.