Animals: Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath...

By Anonymous - 12/10/2012 02:56 - United States

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 665

You deserved it 2 648

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By scorpionsurviver - 08/07/2012 09:47 - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 391

You deserved it 6 574

Winds of change

By sting - 03/06/2017 04:00

Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 071

You deserved it 736

By sisi9999 - 25/07/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 993

You deserved it 3 591

Creepy

By Username - 03/10/2011 17:58 - United States

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 509

You deserved it 3 368

Hidden

By fml9124 - 20/09/2019 14:00

Today, I saw a scorpion crawling across the kitchen floor. While trying to swat it towards the middle of the floor to prevent it from escaping as I looked for something to kill it with, my cat came to investigate. Kitty thought I was playing with a new toy and joined in by batting the scorpion under the oven. I know it's plotting its revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 175

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 541

You deserved it 3 838

By sting - 06/12/2014 01:32 - United States - Valencia

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 657

You deserved it 16 478

By RAS266 - 26/06/2017 00:00

Today, a water snake slithered into our pool. He can have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 541

You deserved it 544

Now you know

By Ouchies - 18/03/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 91

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 063

You deserved it 12 473

JustKittyKat 24

Friday 12 October 2012 9:10

Did he survive? And how do you know he was there for hours? I am very curious about this one.

Moep20 24

Friday 12 October 2012 10:12

Why would anyone put a scorpion into a cup of bleach?!?!?

Comments

damn_homie 2

Friday 12 October 2012 16:41

I didn't know they could do that. Thanks for letting me know before that happens to me.

arcadekid1 9

Friday 12 October 2012 16:44

I must be more careful when I drink my tequila with a 'floating' scorpion from now on.

FuckMyLife206 0

Friday 12 October 2012 20:18

ur sad

nin10doadict 9

Friday 12 October 2012 20:44

Damn nature, you scary! First you tell me rattlesnakes can swim, and now scorpions can go without oxygen for hours?

kitkattgirl 2

Friday 12 October 2012 21:34

Ugh, and I'm terrified of scorpions. Now I'm even more mortified that they can't drown. This is good info to know.

ideasrule 13

Friday 12 October 2012 23:56

Scorpions can hold their breath for up to two days.

illerThanTheirs 8

Saturday 13 October 2012 5:19

Kill it with fire

athlete1990 4

Saturday 13 October 2012 7:26

YDI. Always use generous amounts of wasp spray. Wasp spray is vicious stuff. It will mess up its senses, make it do a crazy dance, and that is when you smack it with a shovel. Killed a hugeeee spider with this method. Oddly satisfying too.