Health: Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, chocolate,...

By gymgirl - 05/05/2011 13:47 - Hong Kong

Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, chocolate, and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 565

You deserved it 48 213

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Same thing different taste

Food ****

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 22:01

Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 340

McGastric

By Mc'xplosive - 09/10/2019 04:00

Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 471

By Somethingswrongwiththispic - 05/08/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 200

You deserved it 46 988

Geometry

By sickpuppy - 08/09/2019 12:00

Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 173

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 159

Let it all out

By Vomitron - 02/04/2021 00:30

Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 124

By teachingsucks - 14/03/2010 18:29 - United States

Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 769

You deserved it 25 070

Willpower

By Anonymous - 11/09/2019 14:00

Today, I started my new health kick with granola for breakfast, salad for lunch, and hitting the gym after work. I was so proud of myself, until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 1 782

By TLJ321 - 18/05/2012 07:41

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 613

You deserved it 58 899

By Anonymous - 18/01/2015 16:34 - Ireland

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 968

You deserved it 20 687

ceddyz17 10

Thursday 5 May 2011 19:06

sounds like a feast for a champion

barlessprison 16

Thursday 5 May 2011 19:07

You mean you had to experience it to figure out it was a bad idea?

Comments

emert 0

Friday 6 May 2011 2:47

hopefully u LEARNT your lesson haha

Quyzl 0

Friday 6 May 2011 2:54

But did you vomit from a /plane/ on a conveyor belt?

dibean 0

Friday 6 May 2011 3:16

wow this is the dumbest thing I've read today... maybe all year

Skatejock21 0

Friday 6 May 2011 3:28

wow... way to get fat. Eating fatty foods before going to the gym... what a way to defeat the purpose of going to the gym. Anyways, YDI.

theUBERcomment 1

Friday 6 May 2011 3:39

masturbating builds ARM strength. do that instead of gym.

Cairo_Sanchez 8

Friday 6 May 2011 3:42

who works out after they eat so much?!?

mikeotter 0

Friday 6 May 2011 4:00

i dont know what the problem is that sounds awesome.

JakeLee 6

Friday 6 May 2011 4:33

HADOOOKEN!

nwatso96 0

Friday 6 May 2011 4:33

lol

gondor17 0

Friday 6 May 2011 4:58

nice try to work it off but idk if that's quite the way of going about it

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The Top

Today, after being so jaded by failed relationships, I'd given a guy who slid into my Facebook Messenger a chance. We'd entered the talking stage, only to be told four months later that he’s found a girlfriend, and no longer wants to continue this interaction and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 277

Today, I took my girlfriend out to Outback Steakhouse. We went to one outside of town because my wife works at our local one. When we got there, guess who we saw? I forgot she transferred to another location, which just happened to be this one. Goddamit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 1 720

The Top

Today, my neighbor kindly set off a bed bug fogger rather than getting an exterminator, which we'd even offered to help him pay for. We have baseboard heating in our condo building. Guess where the parasites crawled to now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 986

You deserved it 849

Today, when my ex said he wanted to be friends, what he meant was that he wanted me to help him hook up with 18-year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 390

You deserved it 963

Today, our little family business was asked to do a presentation at my daughter's school. When we got there and I saw her, I waved to her happily but she totally blanked me, plus my super strict mom smacked me on the back of the head for embarrassing her by not acting professionally while I was technically working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 179

Today, I overheard my mom on the phone ranting about how China "engineered and released" the coronavirus and the giant hornets in an attempt to take over the world. Only one more month of quarantine left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 267

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 978

You deserved it 12 243

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 597

You deserved it 16 970