Health: Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, chocolate,...

By gymgirl - 05/05/2011 13:47 - Hong Kong

Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, chocolate, and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 565

You deserved it 48 213

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Same thing different taste

Food ****

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 22:01

Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 340

McGastric

By Mc'xplosive - 09/10/2019 04:00

Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 471

By Somethingswrongwiththispic - 05/08/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 200

You deserved it 46 988

Geometry

By sickpuppy - 08/09/2019 12:00

Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 173

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 159

Let it all out

By Vomitron - 02/04/2021 00:30

Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 124

By teachingsucks - 14/03/2010 18:29 - United States

Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 769

You deserved it 25 070

Willpower

By Anonymous - 11/09/2019 14:00

Today, I started my new health kick with granola for breakfast, salad for lunch, and hitting the gym after work. I was so proud of myself, until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 1 782

By TLJ321 - 18/05/2012 07:41

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 613

You deserved it 58 899

By Anonymous - 18/01/2015 16:34 - Ireland

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 968

You deserved it 20 687

ceddyz17 10

Thursday 5 May 2011 19:06

sounds like a feast for a champion

barlessprison 16

Thursday 5 May 2011 19:07

You mean you had to experience it to figure out it was a bad idea?

Comments

thygerson 0

Friday 6 May 2011 5:00

my projectile vomit best is 16 ft.

janohiomom99 0

Friday 6 May 2011 5:11

Learnt? Is that a real word??

SunDropGirl 0

Friday 6 May 2011 5:22

I had to figure that out the hard way too!

SmelloJello 9

Friday 6 May 2011 5:30

hey, at least u threw up. now there's no need to feel guilty anymore!

staceysgenesis16 0

Friday 6 May 2011 5:31

wow u fail ... thats sooo gross :/

AwkwardPartyBear 24

Friday 6 May 2011 5:52

Lol that sure wasnt a Happy Meal. F the people that got hit with the throw up =0 because that was an awkward/epic fail ha

VoLcOm12345 0

Friday 6 May 2011 5:59

ydi for eating like crap.

charlotte100 2

Friday 6 May 2011 6:27

at least u threw it all back up?

lovepinkandzombi 0

Friday 6 May 2011 7:19

that's just nasty

hellokimmiee 5

Friday 6 May 2011 7:29

the problem was mcd's.

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The Top

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 014

You deserved it 3 325

Today, the guy I was seeing told me he only wants to be friends. Every guy I've dated in the last 10 years has lost interest after we've had sex for the first time, and nobody will tell me why or what I did wrong. I'm going to die alone and I don't even know why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 196

The Top

Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 191

You deserved it 9 510

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 068

You deserved it 9 528

Today, I went on a hike. It had snowed the night before so I wore warm clothes. They didn’t help when I slipped and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 094

You deserved it 488

Today, I confidently told a joke at a party, only to completely butcher the punchline. Everyone still laughed… at me instead of the joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 315

Today, my pinky finger found out how much a king size bed weighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 933

You deserved it 2 896

Today, my thighs started chafing 3 hours before the end of my work shift. Now they burn no matter what I do. I still have an 8-hour shift tomorrow and I can barely walk. To make it worse, my mom's only words of advice involved me losing weight so it "doesn't happen again". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 636

You deserved it 895