Miscellaneous: Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad....

By melon squash - 11/09/2016 10:15 - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 563

You deserved it 1 327

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Final touch

By rydawg79 - 30/08/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 070

You deserved it 64 850

It's for science!

By Ana - 19/10/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I finally got round to cleaning out my refrigerator. As I reached the back, I found an unidentifiable, moldy object lurking in the corner. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was once a cucumber. I'm growing science experiments in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 723

By thiswouldonlyhappentome - 31/05/2011 00:33 - Aruba

Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 441

You deserved it 4 088

That's not how that works

By Anonymous - 27/08/2015 16:18 - Denmark

Today, I came home from a business trip and was greeted by a foul smell. I soon found out my husband accidentally let the milk go bad by leaving it out all day, then tried to solve the problem by "balancing the temperatures" by putting it in the freezer. Oh honey, no. Just no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 710

You deserved it 1 955

By Badlucked - 03/05/2019 06:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I spent almost an hour cleaning and scrubbing the inside of my fridge. Just when I'd finished putting everything back inside, I tipped over the open milk carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 388

Freeze!

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 440

Thanks, I hate it

By CabbageFart92 - 04/09/2017 01:30

Today, a package was delivered to my house. Thinking it was my new blender, I hurriedly brought it in to open it. Inside the box was an assortment of rotten vegetables that stank like Satan's asshole. I have no idea who it's from or why they hate me so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 623

You deserved it 329

Climate change

By BloodyHorror - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, the blood from some defrosted steak dripped under my fridge where I couldn't see it. One insanely hot day later, and my whole house smells like it has its period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 483

By LilyL - 06/06/2010 21:53 - United States

Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 5 729

Smooth blend

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 16:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was excited to try out my new blender, but when I turned it on, the lid flew off and sprayed smoothie all over my kitchen. Now I have a fruity polka dot pattern on parts of my kitchen's walls and ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 346

LostInTheZone11 29

Monday 12 September 2016 9:28

On the plus side your wording is top notch.

LyricaSilvan 29

Monday 12 September 2016 9:34

That sounds terrible, but I laughed pretty hard at the term "fruit cheese." I wish you luck getting it cleaned up. You definitely don't want that smell sticking around.

Comments

Bassam24 21

Monday 12 September 2016 9:26

Holy shit that must suck...good luck cleaning it.

LostInTheZone11 29

Monday 12 September 2016 9:28

On the plus side your wording is top notch.

Lalala579121 27

Monday 12 September 2016 23:25

OP may not have a future as a watermelon farmer, but as an author? There's a chance.

LyricaSilvan 29

Monday 12 September 2016 9:34

That sounds terrible, but I laughed pretty hard at the term "fruit cheese." I wish you luck getting it cleaned up. You definitely don't want that smell sticking around.

hkhan24 23

Monday 12 September 2016 9:38

It must have been left there a long time to get that bad.

klutzyduck1 24

Monday 12 September 2016 9:40

Bright side: you could be the next Gallagher. His exploding watermelons don't have anything on your trick! I feel bad, that's going to be awful to clean. And from your description of the grossness, you will probably never eat watermelon again.

meghanclean 17

Monday 12 September 2016 10:47

I'm in awe with your description... that's disgusting.

awildwhisper 30

Monday 12 September 2016 11:03

Very good use of adjectives for visual stimulation.

species4872 19

Monday 12 September 2016 12:00

You do realize that because of the watermelon escapade most of the audience has now left.

TabooSushi 24

Monday 12 September 2016 12:38

Keep all possible windows/sources of ventilation open for as long as possible for a good while. It's probably the only way the smell will eventually dissipate.