Health: Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap...

By teeeessst - 13/12/2009 06:26 - United States

Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 862

You deserved it 26 089

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 02:00

Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truckstop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud, that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 125

By justine - 13/12/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 978

You deserved it 3 135

By Anonymous - 16/03/2013 17:31 - Sweden - Karlskrona

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 945

You deserved it 2 574

By babs - 07/05/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 170

You deserved it 4 751

By N/A - 25/09/2012 04:13 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 473

You deserved it 2 841

By Gasman - 15/07/2017 15:30 - New Zealand

Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 510

You deserved it 3 149

By facepalm - 14/06/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 965

You deserved it 35 786

By Anonymous - 16/07/2013 04:41 - United States

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 197

You deserved it 3 373

By missy - 09/03/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 429

You deserved it 8 668

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

harmony88 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 12:24

Surely you could have waited until you were at home to take the test....

juliadream 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 12:25

...why the Target bathroom? As opposed to the privacy of your own bathroom...?

Comments

KassyNicole 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 21:56

Are you sure she wasn't having a baby?

wthefluff 0

Monday 14 December 2009 1:04

not sure why you think taking a dump in the target bathroom is worse than taking a pregnancy test there..

prettystoopid 0

Monday 14 December 2009 1:21

wow taking a pregnancy test in target....classy. where are you going to have his first birthday? I hear the bathroom george michael jerked off in is available..

youdeservedit1 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 20:06

OMG lmao, best comment I've seen in awhile

SarahMarie83 0

Monday 14 December 2009 1:39

Well at least you only had to listen to it. Most of us would have also had to endure an assault on our nose from the stench as we squatted over a dirty toilet praying for a negative while trying to figure out how to tell mommy and/or daddy. You're a lucky girl!

Brooklynxman 0

Monday 14 December 2009 2:15

Taking a pregnancy test in a Target bathroom. The definition of classy.

sweatteaforme001 0

Monday 14 December 2009 2:35

People pooping in the restroom! Oh, the scandal! I could understand taking the test at Target, especially if you don't want mom/roommates/SO to know about it...but if you sit in a public restroom for 10 mins, your gonna be privy to bodily functions!

HelloItsSam 0

Monday 14 December 2009 2:54

I think it qualifies, it's already horrible that she had to take one, nerve wracking and embarrassing as it is, then she goes into the bathroom and someone's taking a massive dump..she had to sit throught the whole thing to find out if her life was over.

Lisasimpsonfan 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 9:31

#77 Her life isn't over. She can get an abortion, give it up to adoption or keep it. Thank Jebus we have choices.

HelloItsSam 0

Monday 14 December 2009 2:39

I'm guessing you bought and took the test right away because you were afraid you were pregnant, not hoping to be pregnant, so was it at least negative after that, or positive?