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By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Spicy
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 010
You deserved it 3 082
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Top comments

CoolCookie210 22

That's disappointing. On the bright side, now you can gossip to your friends about how awful it was.

370 34
betweenwinds 18

Let him brag to his friends this once (embarrassing him won't help anything), but also let him know that you heard and now expect his performance to (eventually) match up to his boasts. He'll improve with some practice. ;)

173 9

Comments

Lalala579121 27

Is this some Scubs fanfiction I'm not aware of?

1 5
TMWhisp 22

No, it's a quote from the show itself, not some 14 year old's fan fiction.

12 1
im_a_black_guy 10

I don't think 14 year olds would even know about scrubs

8 2
Lalala579121 27

I don't remember the line specifically. I guess that's enough of an excuse to watch the entire show again.

4 1
christopherwilli 14

Why exactly did he cry? Was it sadness or was he happy?

22 2
DaRito 25

He was probably really, really embarrassed by his premature ejaculation.

15 1
lexiieeex3 32

If he's gonna lie to his friends he should at least tell you about it first jeeze I'm sorry OP.

12 4
strawberrydreams 18

What an asshat. The next time he tries to show off to his friends like that, you should tell him to not to touch you until he prove to you what he boasted.

24 6
Alorithan 16

How can he prove it if he cant touch her?

3 1
JewKnowIt 19

That's why it's important to **********. So you last longer than 30 seconds. Sorry about that happening OP :/

21 2
Roxas_hearts 27

I always thought masturbating made you finish quicker

0 3
TheNewGuy03 28

I find that beating my dick has the opposite effect, at least mentally. I would just rather have the real thing regularly.

0 1
captainsmegma 12

It is all perspective. Maybe to him that was a damn good pounding.

10 3
cheshireau 26

I would have said, who did you make cum 3 times because it sure as hell wasn't me.

40 2
strawberrydreams 18

I would've said you need a good pounding on the head for lying about the both of us

12 4
9a_1z 12

On the bright side, it can only get better! First times are normally pretty crappy because (despite what certain romance novels may say) without all that sexual experience you're just a pair of baby birds trying to take flight and flapping aimlessly and falling into things instead. Hold on to this memory for an amusing story to tell when you're all old and jaded.

21 1
trucker2 33

Golden rule, one should never kiss and tell.

17 2