Work: Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy....

By sober judge - 03/10/2013 03:46 - United States - Enfield

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 598

You deserved it 7 864

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By egsrox95 - 01/11/2017 00:30

Today, my best friend had the balls to call me an alcoholic. She snuck vodka on a cruise ship in a Listerine bottle. I've never had a drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 817

You deserved it 344

Pour some more funny!

By Bruce - 12/03/2023 00:00

Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 158

By srs - 11/08/2018 20:30

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 080

You deserved it 513

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 06:20 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 489

You deserved it 6 264

By ApparentDrugAddict - 08/08/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 900

You deserved it 7 336

Nice try

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 21:00 - Philippines

Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 1 458

By Neednewfriends - 11/11/2015 14:38 - Australia

Today, I found out that my "friends" only invite me to their parties when they need a designated driver. Apparently I'm "not fun" because I don't drink, which "ruins the party". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 412

You deserved it 2 668

By meeks123 - 20/06/2012 05:03 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 008

You deserved it 5 332

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 621

You deserved it 2 890

Incomplete freedom

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 115

Philintheblankz 14

Thursday 3 October 2013 9:56

If your friends are out getting drunk practically every night then I would say your gonna be much better off than them.

PandaBurst 10

Thursday 3 October 2013 9:54

Good on you for deciding to be one of our sexy men/women in uniform. It'll pay off. Plus, you'll get more franks bought for you in the future when you're wearing your uniform. ;-)

Comments

fivetimeslonger 24

Thursday 20 March 2014 7:16

Thank you for your service! Just remember what you're doing is greater than anything they're doing. Plus, you'll have a healthier liver ;)

AwkwardBookworm 27

Monday 14 March 2016 22:35

Time to get new friends

trblmkr0727 18

Wednesday 10 August 2016 12:45

I was a student at the Royal Military College of Canada, I understand the no alcohol policy and friends calling you drunk, it sucks but the reward of wearing Cadpat is much more. Continue what you are doing, be strong, be proud.