By avoid the sour cream - 30/12/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 695
You deserved it 2 839
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Top comments

LadyClarik 8

Try turning your tv and radio/iPod as loud as they can go to drown out the noise. Also try putting the shower and sink in simultaneously.

195 5
anitadoody 7

Oh come on, everybody poops. Let it just go with the flow!

79 6

Comments

perdix 29

Crank up Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture." The cannon fire will blend in with your salvos of fart-propelled, molten-lava grenades. You may also want to set some tires on fire in the bathroom to improve the smell.

33 3
xtna 9

Diarrhea is always the loudest when you NEED it to be quiet.

27 1
Korosuhito 26

Drop some paper in toilet before you go to muffle the noise.

18 0
abceasyas123abc 12

But how to muffle the sharting noises? That is the question..

11 2
natalalaliee 9

That really does suck! Maybe tell them so you can laugh about it?

1 9
Accuraxy 10

If I had flaming diarrhea bombs I don't think I would want to announce it to everyone..

6 1
abceasyas123abc 12

You need to get your hands on this medication called enteroquinal. It's not approved in some countries but it's the only thing I've ever known to actually give you relief from the cramps and control the degree of explosiveness of diarrhoea.

1 0
Sputnikspak 13

Loperamide (usually OTC name Imodium) works really well also. And there's usually a pharmacy around that delivers (sometimes even the front desk has it). There are two things I pack on every single trip: Gravol and the instantly-dissolving Imodium. I get motion sickness and have occasional bouts of IBS, so I always plan ahead when it comes to bringing along my drugs.

5 0
outoftown 26

When you call the front desk, also ask for air freshener and more frequent housekeeping for the bathroom (tip extra for it yourself), and contact info for the house physician and/or local emergency room. Share this info with your roommates, in case you pass out and need medical hydration.

0 0
peopleequalshet 10

If you're really feeling that awkward, go to another bathroom across the street.

0 2
MrBoredomioo 18

I just watched the barf and shit scene from that movie. In a hotel. While ******** my brains out.

0 0
mikeymayhem_87 15

Here's a possible solution for next time: zip tie the trigger to an air freshener can so it'll spray continuously and throw it into the room. It'll either force everybody else out of the room by the smell, or it'll preoccupy them long enough trying to disable it, that you can get the explosive BM done and worry free. Plus, the stench will be drowned out by the air freshener!

3 1
Catkam623 27

Say hey let's go get some food and while their gone let it go

3 1
DanielleinDC 33

That has to be the shittiest situation ever.

2 1
Enslaved 36

Out of respect, why didn't you just warn your co-worker and tell her that you are having some stomach issues and kindly ask if you can have some extra privacy? I'm sure she would have walked the hotel and visited the gym or pool rather than have to listen and smell you. :P

7 0